• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Navy denies killing Thames whale

#1
NAVY sonar and military explosions have been blamed for disorientating the bottlenose whale that died on Saturday after two days in the Thames.

Even as scientists began the post-mortem examination on the 18ft adolescent – now believed to have been a female – on a quayside in Gravesend, Kent, yesterday, the blame game over the cause of death had begun.

Marine scientists and animal welfare groups believe that navy sonar may have disorientated the whale. Marine acoustics experts supported local residents on the north coast of Kent in blaming huge explosions from a site operated by the defence contractor QinetiQ.


The Royal Navy was the first to respond to the claim. “HMS Grafton was involved in a show last Friday on the coast,” a spokesman said.

“The only other ship in the North Sea is HMS Severn, and she was halfway to Belgium. Our sonar is good but not that good.”

In north Kent, residents reported blasts from Shoeburyness Range, a Ministry of Defence site where QinetiQ was carrying out controlled detonations last week.

“On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday last week, it was like being in the middle of a war zone,” Tony Wilkinson, 65, a resident of Herne Bay, said.

“People suffered cracked floors, windows and ceilings.” Professor Rodney Coates, who specialises in marine acoustics, confirmed that such blasts could disorientate whales.

Roger Gale, MP for Thanet North, said: “We understand that one or more whales were seen off Southend on Tuesday. I hope that this factor may be taken into account during the post-mortem.”

QinetiQ said that it did not operate sub-water testing from the Shoeburyness Range that might affect marine life. A spokeswoman called the claims opportunistic.
Timesonline
 
#3
Bone news comment of the week.

"and now over to no mark in a trenchcoat our loser on the scene... no mark, can you update us on this non news story"

"yes, i can exclusively reveal that the whale is indeed heading upstream, the outlook is bleak unless it heads back to sea (no sh1t sherlock, i thought it would fine bottom feeding for krill in the deep water near maidenhead you goon), but the general opinion i'm getting around here is hoping for a happy outcome for the whale (again.. master of the obvious.. didnt see any people with "kill the whale" signs or waiting to drop shopping trollies/park benches on it)"

Thanks for that news 24.... so glad i pay my license fee to keep you in "no news" nirvana.
 
#4
The Royal Navy was the first to respond to the claim. “We havent got any bloody ships left, let alone enough to be out in the North Sea killing whales” a spokesman said.

“We've got part shares in a second hand mersey ferry that we can call up if we need it, and we've considered recalling HMS Victory and HMS Belfast - everything else has either been sold off to other countries or now comes under the direct command of the EU in Belgium.”
 
#10
It appears that the (would-be) rescuers are facing £300 in parking fines, after having outstayed their parking meter times. The fact that every vehicle had a sign saying 'Marine Rescue' and that the world and his dog were watching a whale thrashing about in the Thames appears to have passed the parking wardens (or whatever grand title they have to inflate their importance) by.
 
#13
Mind you, it wouldn't be the first time a Matelot's led some whale astray, and then left her stranded and f*cked.

There's hundreds of similarly built examples in Portsmouth along the Harbour-front bars...
 
#14
Why the flying **** has someone got to be at fault for everything? People **** up and get lost all the time (YT included) So just because an animal got lost, it suddenly has to be the fault of the human being? It had no map, no GPS etc, and if it proved to be female, well there you go.
 
#15
...now believed to have been a female...
What?
I'm no marine biolgist, but if it's got a todger the size of your leg it's a bloke, if not it's most likley a female... Right?

Or do we have transgender whales now?

I also wish to know wether as the barge was setting out, one of the crew came racing up the gangplank with a frying pan and a bag of chips or not.
 
#18
The story is probably just an attempt by a handful local residents to stop the MoD from training at QuinetiQ ranges Shoeburyness. No doubt retired busy bodies with nothing better to do than whinge about the Army. What would they have done when the Luftwaffe was bombing? Complained to Goring?

Can't the MoD just buy them some triple glazing to pay them off?
 
#19
There would have been none of this collective wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth if the Navy had killed James Whale instead.
I, for one, would get a round in.
 

Latest Threads

New Posts