Natural Insemination...any voulanteers

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by CptDanjou, Sep 4, 2013.

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  1. Any activity that involves the words BBC and Sperm Donation in the same sentence is best avoided for the foreseeable future.
  2. I'll give it a go, where do I sign up? A vasecomy 20 years ago wont hold me back or foul up my application will it?
  3. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    The wife has a mate, who while shaggable in a 'hey at least she aint fat' kind of way, is a complete and total nutter.

    On paper she's a bit of a catch, an heiress to a well known brewing/hospitality empire, blonde, blue eyes, runs marathons, cracking tits.

    Unfortunately due to chronic OCD (latex gloves to use the cash machine etc.) and some fairly interesting right wing views, she has trouble holding down a relationship. Her dream is to have kids and she has a particular thing for the whole blonde hair blue eyes look (could be something to do with her political views).

    Her solution to this is to go on holiday to Scandinavia once or twice a year, and fuck any bloke who will take her. Thus far this has proved fruitless.

    I pity whatever offspring she eventually conceives.
  4. Give her my number.

    I ask only for pigtails and the full bavarian mountian girl dress... and ten minutes per session where I can do anything i like.
  5. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    You'd have the best and most terrifying 25 seconds ever and then regret it for the rest of your life. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it once or twice. I fondly recall being in the dim light of a posh London nightclub with her once and after a few beers thinking "You know what? I'd tap that just for a go on her mega tits." Then sensibility stepped in when I noticed she had bog roll sticking out of her ears "to prevent deafness" and was decanting her drinks into her own "germ free" plastic cup.

    I've just checked her Facebook profile. Plenty of phots of recent trips to Norway and Denmark and curiously she's now friends with a few of my posher squaddy mates.

    It appears she may now be broadening her net in order to include some warrior jizz in her quest for parenthood.

  6. Is this the latest line would be rapists will be using in court next?

  7. That sounds scarily familiar along with the gloves at cash machines.

    Does she speak with a soft London accent and stand about 5'9?
  8. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Accent is quite posh but yeah you're about bang on with the height.
  9. I'm Scottish, Brummies sound posh to me. :)
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