National Televisio Awards - 2011

I have just got in and switched on the telly to see the National Television Awards being transmitted live from the O2 Arena.

There was Simon wotsit's fizzog smiling at me and I suddenly thought that, with a 2kT tac nuke, we could solve four major problems with today's society:

1. We would rid ourselves of the Dome.
2. We would lose a large chunk of a particularly unpleasant and self-serving part of the population.
3. With all the death duties falling due immediately, we could solve the financial crisis.
4. No more Stephen Fry!

Is this wrong of me to think all of this?

And not do anything about it?

Lits

 

You missed the additional benefit of possibly making the whole premise of East Enders radioactively unpopular in the popular imagination too.

Oh and Cheerful chirpy cockney's with a suntan from "It Ain't half Hot Mum" would bring back the golden age of British TV IMHO

 

What have you got against Stephen Fry? Surely he's one of the wittier hermers?

 

There was an "n" in television when I posted that; who stole it?

And Stephen Fry is one major reason why I would press the button!

Lits

 

A Tac nuke seems a touch extreme - plus I'm sure that Kerry Katatonic is genetically similar to a cockroach, thus she would survive any blast and residual radiation. And we can't be having that, can we?

I would suggest purging by fire. I have some stout chain and several Chubb padlocks* in the sh*d: if I set off now, I could get most of the exits secured, leaving one to be covered by DF.

Anybody got a job lot of naphtalene going spare?





*none of your business

 

Think before you post man! If you killed all the people in that room it would be like the deaths of Diana and Jade Goody rolled into one. The sea of flowers and scouse grief whores would overwhelm the country in a tidal wave of mawkish sentimentality.

2 and a half hours of lobotomised luvvies air-kissing and slapping themselves on the back, no thanks.

 

If a Tac Nuke is off the table, can we use a fuel air bomb?

 

I don't think that it's too extreme. In fact I blame the Krauts for not doing a more thorough job of the fucking East end.

 

Hardly Herman the German's fault, that the BBC broadcast that tripe.
On the plus side, they did give us Dad's Army, Colditz and Secret Army

 

If they'd have completely flattened the East end, there would be no story line and all those up their own arse fuckers would be out of work.

Not much to ask is it?

 

Have a care, man: if you turn the place into the biggest Cyalume in the Western hemisphere, it could affect property prices for months.

 

I doubt it would affect you and I.

I don't mean that the population of the East end should suffer. I think they should have at least 10 minutes to get out.

 

Then they are fucked - you'll never get a cab to go South of the river this time of night.

...........still, on the upside, the improvement to Beckton will be tenfold.

 

Oh, great - another fcuking bleeding-heart liberal!