Nasal F*cking Hair

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LBdr_Pigshagger, Jan 26, 2005.

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  1. I have, in the last five minutes pulled out a hair from my nose, that was at least an inch and a half in length and felt like it was attached to the rear of my right eyeball.

    Why, since I turned thirty, am I losing hair from places that I want it, yet am growing it in places that have no requirement for it?

    Any ideas?

    Bunch of nasal-hairy ARRSE...
  2. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Wait till they grow out of your ears and you can platt them over your slaphead!
  3. By the time you reach 70 your c0ck, nose & ears will have grown, but judging by the amount of hair that comes out of old blokes noses & ears you'll probably not be able to see your c0ck due to the masses of silver pubes! 8O 8O 8O 8O :lol:
  4. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Damn now I'm going to have to order a new keyboard as this one is covered in lunch. You could do an Arthur Scargill as in Spitting image!
  5. Maybe we could suggest impersonations to those Puppet Penis blokes - the mind boggles with the possibilities! 8O 8)
  6. It's known as a hair avalanche - the less hair you have on top, the more appears in other places.
  7. There are few greater pleasures on this planet than removing a 13 amp fuse-wire nasal hair from your hooter.

    I usually use a trimmer, but have on occasion, let them grow, so I can cultivate a good crop. You know it's time to pluck them when their tickling your bottom lip. If you use tweezers, you may as well put on a dress.

    Get a good few between thumb and forefinger and yank down and away. Don't be tempted to move your head with the motion, as you'll lose power and have to go back again. Ignore the pain and the involuntary tears.

    If you've done it properly you should now be holding what looks like a small paintbrush. If they're particularly wiry, they should have a root like the rigger's club foot.

    As an added bonus, if you've managed to grab anything over ten hairs, you can usually find a couple of flattened bogeys in there as well. Depending on your preferences, these can either be discarded or eaten.
  8. Let' em grow.. then wax them into a nice 'tache...

    something like a handlebar or maybe a Fu Manchu..just don't go for the Adolph look, very un-PC these days... :roll: