Mate, if you are going to start a thread, at least give us something to read about before you want our stories. I realise by your sign on name you obviously get off on other people stuff, but spill....................
paid 6 quid to watch grace lez it up with her sister! a bit naughty i know but fook it 6 quids a bargain
i got thrown out shortly after for pissing on one of the fine sportsmans bar girls
they let me in the next night after i explained it was beer i spat out on to her and she must have been mistaken
happy days !
edited to add it was all in my dreams and ive never been to kenya your honour!!
Ah Nanyuki, the breeding ground for the some of the largest bullshit stories ever concocted, every few months a plane returns to the UK with 90 % of its passengers squirming around with their pants on fire....
Oh well, went to the Sporties in 84/85 after drinking way too much Tusker premium and eating too many lamb samosas. After several attempts to mount one of the lovely "Ladies" you find in said establishment, I said I'd settle for a blow job. Talk about bad skills for a working girl. I believe I may have fallen asleep several times before she was able to finish her work. Bless her she did keep trying. All for 30 Kenyan shilling. I thought it was a bargin.
Well some too bad to tell, however i remember about 15 of us in a small room watching one of the pads get wan_ed off and we paid about 600 shillings, what a rip off, a mate of mine went back about 10yrs ago and said grace was as thin as a stick now, so anyone who shagged her best start worrying lol
I escorted the Environmental Health girl to the curry house on the high street to carry out an inspection. She came out and placed it out of bounds after finding dog meat in the freezer. This was the night after the CO and his gang had their arrival meal there; it was funny watching the green faces as they read Orders that evening.
Next weekend got pissed with John Hurt and his missus and borrowed his Landy the following weekend while he was back in the UK.
Non-officers were banned from the Mount Kenya Safari Club, so we decided to spend a weekend there while the CO of the Bn was also there. His face was a picture as I sat opposite him at dinner chatting away to The Hof and his wife
He re-issued the ban, so we went back the next weekend too. Bloody uppity grunt officers
I had a steak dinner in his missus' restaurant on my last trip out there. Great evening was had by all, especially the group urination session over 4 AIDS riddled whores in the Sportsman's later on. Watching them cowering in the rusty bath vainly avoiding my Sugar Puff smelling stream was overpowering. Mind you, drunkenly whistling the theme tune to 'Philadelphia' whilst pointing at their Kaposi's sarcoma lesions as they cried made my fucking night.
Actually, what made my night was the return to camp, where 'Ken Barlow' the 14 year old local thief and 'go-getter' was hit by a speeding taxi and killed.
Taxi cart races at the end of the night.
The Beetle taxi - 6 in the back seat 3 on the front passenger seat and 2 on the roof rack.
Paying a 7 year old to be your body guard for the night
Watching said 7 year old getting hit over the head by the guard at the camp gate. (big fuck off stick with a bolt on the end, just has to hurt)
Telling one of the blokes selling carvings that his mates carvings are better
Hearing the screams from lads as they have a pull through the next day.