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Name day

A terrible, but true thing. Say "Stand up please, Jimmy" in Glasgow, as a teacher, and what will you get ? Shot. Say Stand up please, Jimmy" in Margate, and you'll get "Piss off you old cnut". Say the same thing in Bradistan and you'll gedt "Hawajadodadadahday". Is this because teachers lack ettiquette, or essential weapons training?
Can we have that in English?
Kids have become slimy, nasty little cnuts that even Jeyes Fluid couldn't control wherever you go. Sex is fun, but reproduction is not.
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