Name day

A terrible, but true thing. Say "Stand up please, Jimmy" in Glasgow, as a teacher, and what will you get ? Shot. Say Stand up please, Jimmy" in Margate, and you'll get "Piss off you old cnut". Say the same thing in Bradistan and you'll gedt "Hawajadodadadahday". Is this because teachers lack ettiquette, or essential weapons training?
Can we have that in English?

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