Years ago I got invited by a bloke I met in the pub to have a chop at his wife. He wanted to watch and take photos.
I drove him to his place, where he introduced me to the fattest, ugliest thing I have ever seen. She was a lot like that old bag in the photo. She was standing naked in the living room with the camera in her hands. I suddenly had second thoughts, and did a runner.
This bloke in the pub, he didn't go by the first name of Josh by any chance?
Cant remember, but was well dressed and looked ok. I expected him to have a stunning hottie waiting for us, not a blubbermeister.
It also occured to me in a horrific flash that he could have been Bi, and as I was giving his ugly fat wife a length he may have surprised me with a pork sword.
F.A.FBoss of naked cleaning firm silences critics by doing job herself
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The boss of a naked cleaning company has hit back at critics who said she wouldn't do the job herself by polishing in her underwear for clients – after quitting a £16.50-an-hour role because she realised her new business would make her more cash.
Nikki Belton, 33, will be stripping down from her office wear to lingerie to scrub the houses of five customers after trolls on social media claimed she wouldn’t do the job she was expecting others to take on.
Her business The Naked Cleaning Company offers domestic cleaning services from lingerie, topless to fully naked cleaners from £75 per hour to up to £95 per hour.
Boss of naked cleaning firm silences critics by doing job herself
I've given the wife a day off from cleaning and hired the above lady in for a full house clean...
As I've already booked my slot, you lot can have sloppy seconds.