Nailing Sh!t To a Wall and Calling it Art

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Oct 1, 2007.

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  1. there was the guy who had the cruxifix dipped in urine and called it art.. there was the guy who ' sculpted' the Virgin Mary out of elephant dung and called it art..
    now there's this guy who is suddenly the 'to die for artist du jour '

    Chinese, as it turns out [ though I don't think there is a subtext to that fact ]..his name is Zhang Huan..

    his usual ' ouevre ' seems involve himself in ' performance art' and usually naked.

    two examples:
    1] He once stripped down, covered himself head to toe in insects, birdseeds and pieces of bread thrown at him by Americans.

    2] his most famous ' piece ' [which was titled: 12 Meters Square ] consisted of him, naked, again, covered in honey and fish ' remains ' sitting for one hour in a grungy Beijing public toilet, while people went about using the facilities, as flies amassed on his flesh.

    I know where'd I'd be if I did that..wouldn't take long for white coated chaps with jackets that buckle in the back to be coming to ' congratulate my works '...

    anyone [ other than MDN ] got ideas for the next great artwork ?.. I'm sure a Saatchi could be convinced to buy it after all he plonked down some serious green for a pickled shark not too long ago...
  2. I quite fancy cutting a chav in half and putting the f*cker in formaldehyde and getting idiots to pay a fortune to view it. Failing that, nailing a chav to the wall. It's not art as such, more of a hobby.
  3. How about 'Tracy Emin Nailed to a Wall'.

    I'd pay good money to see that piece of Art.
  4. I'd nail Tracy Emin against a wall.

    Cracking tits.
  5. Only if she has a fcuking paper bag on her boat race.
    Not a bad body but here grid has been beaten by all the ugly sticks going
  6. She looks to me like a dirty fckin' smack head. A female version of Pete fcukin' Docherty.....
  7. Nah, that's Amy Winehouse.
    Who could also use being nailed to a wall
  8. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Thick as a whale omelette too, and dull as fcuk. Did anyone see her on 'Have I Got New For You'?
  9. And seen more traffic than the Dartford Tunnel (allegedly). Not that that's necessarily a bad thing but when I see the fragrant Ms Emin I think I'd have a go but I'd want it steam-cleaned first.
  10. Id nail em both to a wall and for paint i'd use my muck. Dirty hooers.
  11. A combination of the above and using the artist who convinces thousands of people to strip naked in public places. Get thousands of chavs to strip naked in a public place (Sydney Harbour or Canary Wharf would be nice) and THEN cut them all in half and place them in formaldehyde. I'd pay to see that.
  12. No, wouldn't nail 'em, sorry.
  13. look through the video, you will come to a 'sperm eaters' picture, what the feck is that all about? weird!
  14. There was a bloke, can't remember his name, that "paints" by giveing himself a paint enema and then sh1ting all over the canvas. Talk about suffering for your art.

    He sells quite well so I'm told.