Nailing Sh!t To a Wall and Calling it Art

#1
there was the guy who had the cruxifix dipped in urine and called it art.. there was the guy who ' sculpted' the Virgin Mary out of elephant dung and called it art..
now there's this guy who is suddenly the 'to die for artist du jour '

Chinese, as it turns out [ though I don't think there is a subtext to that fact ]..his name is Zhang Huan..

his usual ' ouevre ' seems involve himself in ' performance art' and usually naked.

two examples:
1] He once stripped down, covered himself head to toe in insects, birdseeds and pieces of bread thrown at him by Americans.

2] his most famous ' piece ' [which was titled: 12 Meters Square ] consisted of him, naked, again, covered in honey and fish ' remains ' sitting for one hour in a grungy Beijing public toilet, while people went about using the facilities, as flies amassed on his flesh.

I know where'd I'd be if I did that..wouldn't take long for white coated chaps with jackets that buckle in the back to be coming to ' congratulate my works '...

anyone [ other than MDN ] got ideas for the next great artwork ?.. I'm sure a Saatchi could be convinced to buy it after all he plonked down some serious green for a pickled shark not too long ago...
 
#2
I quite fancy cutting a chav in half and putting the f*cker in formaldehyde and getting idiots to pay a fortune to view it. Failing that, nailing a chav to the wall. It's not art as such, more of a hobby.
 
#3
How about 'Tracy Emin Nailed to a Wall'.

I'd pay good money to see that piece of Art.
 
#4
I'd nail Tracy Emin against a wall.

Cracking tits.
 
#5
devilish said:
How about 'Tracy Emin Nailed to a Wall'.

I'd pay good money to see that piece of Art.
Only if she has a fcuking paper bag on her boat race.
Not a bad body but here grid has been beaten by all the ugly sticks going
 
#6
mac_uk said:
devilish said:
How about 'Tracy Emin Nailed to a Wall'.

I'd pay good money to see that piece of Art.
Only if she has a fcuking paper bag on her boat race.
Not a bad body but here grid has been beaten by all the ugly sticks going
She looks to me like a dirty fckin' smack head. A female version of Pete fcukin' Docherty.....
 
#7
devilish said:
mac_uk said:
devilish said:
How about 'Tracy Emin Nailed to a Wall'.

I'd pay good money to see that piece of Art.
Only if she has a fcuking paper bag on her boat race.
Not a bad body but here grid has been beaten by all the ugly sticks going
She looks to me like a dirty fckin' smack head. A female version of Pete fcukin' Docherty.....
Nah, that's Amy Winehouse.
Who could also use being nailed to a wall
 
#8
devilish said:
mac_uk said:
devilish said:
How about 'Tracy Emin Nailed to a Wall'.

I'd pay good money to see that piece of Art.
Only if she has a fcuking paper bag on her boat race.
Not a bad body but here grid has been beaten by all the ugly sticks going
She looks to me like a dirty fckin' smack head. A female version of Pete fcukin' Docherty.....
Thick as a whale omelette too, and dull as fcuk. Did anyone see her on 'Have I Got New For You'?
 
#9
Rumpelstiltskin said:
I'd nail Tracy Emin against a wall.

Cracking tits.
And seen more traffic than the Dartford Tunnel (allegedly). Not that that's necessarily a bad thing but when I see the fragrant Ms Emin I think I'd have a go but I'd want it steam-cleaned first.
 
#11
blackrat_scaleyback said:
I quite fancy cutting a chav in half and putting the f*cker in formaldehyde and getting idiots to pay a fortune to view it. Failing that, nailing a chav to the wall. It's not art as such, more of a hobby.
A combination of the above and using the artist who convinces thousands of people to strip naked in public places. Get thousands of chavs to strip naked in a public place (Sydney Harbour or Canary Wharf would be nice) and THEN cut them all in half and place them in formaldehyde. I'd pay to see that.
 
#13
#15
There was a bloke, can't remember his name, that "paints" by giveing himself a paint enema and then sh1ting all over the canvas. Talk about suffering for your art.

He sells quite well so I'm told.
 
#16
Shoving 5 litres of Dulux up your hoop does not constitute art. Shoving the Dulux dog up Tracey Emins hoop, on a crumpled matress covered in used syringes, whilst battering Pete Docherty over the head with a lump of lead piping, and flaying the skin off Amy Shytehouse to make an attractive lampshade....now thats ART!

I think I may have some issues............
 
#17
DigitalGeek said:
Shoving 5 litres of Dulux up your hoop does not constitute art. Shoving the Dulux dog up Tracey Emins hoop, on a crumpled matress covered in used syringes, whilst battering Pete Docherty over the head with a lump of lead piping, and flaying the skin off Amy Shytehouse to make an attractive lampshade....now thats ART!

I think I may have some issues............
I may not know much about art but I know what I like!
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
DigitalGeek said:
Shoving 5 litres of Dulux up your hoop does not constitute art. Shoving the Dulux dog up Tracey Emins hoop, on a crumpled matress covered in used syringes, whilst battering Pete Docherty over the head with a lump of lead piping, and flaying the skin off Amy Shytehouse to make an attractive lampshade....now thats ART!

I think I may have some issues............
Where do I pay to get in?
 
#20
If you can take a dump in a tin can and persuade some mug punter to part with a few thousand quid for it then fair f-cks to you

Manzoni died, aged just 29, within two years of creating his tinned art. He was a hard drinker and his alcohol consumption led to him to suffer from a liver condition. In a letter to a friend, he explained that his motivation for tinning his faeces was to expose the gullible nature of the art-buying public.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/06/30/nart30.xml
 
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