Two married friends are out drinking. One says to the other. "I can never sneak into the house when I have been out drinking all night. I've tried everything. I turn the headlights off before I go up the driveway, I turn the engine off in the garage, I take my shoes off and creep up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom, if I take a piss I don't flush the toilet, I do everything I can not to wake her, but she always wakes up and starts yelling at me for staying out late." His friend replies. "You should do what I do, I screech up the drive, rev the engine before turning it off, then I get out slam the drivers door, slam the front door shut, get undressed in the bedroom, throw my shoes off on the floor, then let off a really loud fart, then I jump into bed, slap my wife's arse and say "How about a blow job?" "She always rolls over and pretends to be asleep!"