Nagging wife

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by MontyB, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Two married friends are out drinking. One says to the other. "I can never sneak into the house when I have been out drinking all night. I've tried everything. I turn the headlights off before I go up the driveway, I turn the engine off in the garage, I take my shoes off and creep up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom, if I take a piss I don't flush the toilet, I do everything I can not to wake her, but she always wakes up and starts yelling at me for staying out late."
    His friend replies. "You should do what I do, I screech up the drive, rev the engine before turning it off, then I get out slam the drivers door, slam the front door shut, get undressed in the bedroom, throw my shoes off on the floor, then let off a really loud fart, then I jump into bed, slap my wife's arse and say "How about a blow job?" "She always rolls over and pretends to be asleep!"