Mythbusters - Women and Multi-tasking

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cernunnos, Dec 7, 2007.

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  1. Our lass can plat fog!

    0 vote(s)
  2. Our lass is fu'cking solid!

    0 vote(s)
  3. Don't ask me I'm a chutney ferret!

    0 vote(s)
  1. Booorrds are supposedly better at multi-tasking than bleerrks. Having seen my lass trying to push a wheel barrow full of concrete and kick the dog up the arse, at the same time, I came to doubt this theory. The back garden path is still covered in the shit.

    I came up with a simple test to try the theory out.

    Up to now I have yet to meet a bird who can give a decent blowjob and knit a sock at the same time.

    Try this, or a similar test yourself. Then give us your vote and a scientific account of your research.

    On the male multitasking I have been very fair. I was able to fill out my pools coupon satisfactorily whilst engaged in full on 69 action with our lass.

    She only tumbled me on the second attempt the following week. When I went to seal the envelope, I ran the adhesive edge through her snatch to moisten it, cutting her arse in the process. I now use self sealing envelopes.

    During the whole process the only evidence I could see for female multi-tasking was that her arse made a good biro holder!
  2. Multi-tasking is a w8nk word, invented by idle bitches who think a 20 minute frantic run-around, cleaning, cooking, and washing, will make up for a whole day sat round jawing to their fat mates, with Jeremy Kyle (cnut) blaring away in the background.

    Hang the lot of 'em.

    Multitasking arrseholes.....
  3. Don't beat about the bush, tell us what experiment or line of research led you to your scientific conclusions?
  4. Coming home from a hard days' graft, I stumble upon the house, with all the lights, central heating, and gas fire on. On inquiring to my dear partner, as to how her day off went, I was informed that her sister had been round with a couple of friends, and they had just talked all day and had a "lovely time".

    I then proceeded into the kitchen where a huge amount of washing-up was to be found, no dinner on the go, and the cats' sh8te tray (her cats - not mine) creaking under a full load of turds and foul pish.

    As I cannot stand the smell of stale cat pish (it reminds me of her clunge), I start to sort the mess out. She then proclaims to "feeling guilty" and whirls round the kitchen like Stephen Hawkings wired up to the National Grid.

    After she's washed up, I "put away" and approximately 26.39% of the so-called washed items have to be thrown back and re-done.

    I absolve her sister of any crime, as she has slightly bigger breasts, and tossed me off once, as a young man, a couple of years before I commenced my relationship with the current device.
  5. There is actually some research (google it) and it shows that women are no better than men. All great art and most science is produced by men because men are monomaniacs.

    Or to put it another way, "Women can multi-task because they're prepared to do a really half-assed job".
  6. Women "multitask" in the same way that Microsoft software "multitasks" -
    Everything gets done slowly, most things get done badly and some things don't get done at all.

    That, of course, is a quite different thing from doing more than one task at the same time. That's a male skill, and most of us are very good at it!
  7. Quite agree Chinggis:

    Always gets a good wind up going when I hear women going on about how they multi task. I say to them that I would rather do one job well than many jobs badly. Goes down like lead balloon.

    You have to sit under glare of pissed off wimmin for a while but do so feeling smug.
  8. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    My missus is extremely good at multitasking:

    Scientific proof: I defy you to deny the FACT that almost all women can b!tch, moan and cry, all at the same time, whilst thinking up reasons (for a 20 year period) why it's your fault.

    I have also come home from work, after me missus has had the day off, to find all the lights on, her running around with the baby on one hip and a hoover in her hand, telly on, looking flustered with a face that says "SEE? This is what I do for you!". On further inspection, the rest of the house is the same tip it was when I left for work, and the only difference is that the hoover is out of the cupboard and a 3" section of carpet is cleaner. When I get home, she promptly stops the hoover, gives me a perfunctory kiss and then asks me to change the baby, feed the pets and put dinner on, all at the same time, because she's tired and stressed and needs a fag (and Home & Away is on).
  9. My wife can drive the wrong way up a one way street whilst crunching the gears and shouting at me that she is pefectcly capable of reading the roadsigns for herself.
    If thats not multi-tasking, I don't know what is!
  10. The Jade Dream has the amazing ability to entrance, confuse, enrage, delight and mystify me at the same time. Now, that's multi-tasking.
  11. Is that a vibrator by any chance?
  12. Women only multi-task because they're incapable of effective prioritising!!!!
  13. Arbyette can shout at me, demand another glass of wine, do her make up and leave her straightners on (presumably to test the validity of my house insurance) all at the same time. I say that's multitasking.