Mysteriouse orders from Amazon

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
Yesterday an Amazon parcel arrived. It was addressed to me and so I opened it. Inside was a rather nice oscillating multi-tool. Now, whilst I did want one, I had no recollection of ordering one. At the same time a parcel arrived addressed to my son. A few days later my son Skyped me to say that 2 packages were on the way. One was for him, the other for me. Well I never! He'd remembered my birthday and sent the multi-tool early to make sure I got it in time for my birthday which is on friday of this week.

Now I have a new toy to play with in my workshop.
 
I got within a click of owning one of these.
alvis-stalwart-amphibious-truck-91-et-45.jpg

Forty quid for a desk ornament and a couple of days to go so my pissed mind told me to sIeep on it.
It turns out there wasn't a decimal place.
 
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A Ford Ka.

Buckfast's a hell of a drink.
You'd need more than Buckfast I would've thought. Heroin more likely.

On a side note, I've not seen Buckfast on sale here. Might be a tidy opportunity for someone...
 
Mahoooosive turbocharger for a Mercedes truck. I had a Carlsberg-fuelled idea to build a mega-boosted OM606 for my old E Class. Managed to sell it on, and finished up £40 to the good.

Microsoft Natural keyboard (mk1). Purely for nostalgic reasons.

Microsoft Kin mobile phone. A phone SO bad, it was only on retail sale for 48 days. I was really really pissed the night I bought that.

GooPhone (really!) i5, a Chinese iPhone 5 clone. Absolute rubbish, unusable. Jagerbombs was responsible for that.
 
Books are usually the things which turn up unexpectedly but recently had my neighbour turning up with parcels he'd taken in for me containing; a Peterson pipe; two shooting sticks; a bronze frog; and three flat caps. I gave up smoking ten years ago and I don't really wear hats. But I did turn 50 this year.
Fuck knows what the frog was about.
 
He does indeed. Last year he scored a magnificent pair of egg coddlers. What train of thought determines a man to suddenly think one day "I need a set of egg coddlers" I have yet to experience.
Not wishing to seem incredibly dense, but WTF is an "egg coddler"?
Is it like a dog jacket or similar?
 
Not wishing to seem incredibly dense, but WTF is an "egg coddler"?
Is it like a dog jacket or similar?
It is normally a pair of ceramic or glass small pots with lids.
Depending on how you prefer them you can lightly butter the pot, crack in an egg, I then put a small knob of butter on top, add salt and pepper, put the lids on then put them into a pan of water to cook them through.

Getting the timing right for how soft you want the eggs is the hard part.
 
It is normally a pair of ceramic or glass small pots with lids.
Depending on how you prefer them you can lightly butter the pot, crack in an egg, I then put a small knob of butter on top, add salt and pepper, put the lids on then put them into a pan of water to cook them through.

Getting the timing right for how soft you want the eggs is the hard part.
Thanks, Porkers old chap. I honestly didn't know.
Scrambled, boiled, fried, poached and broken on kitchen floor is my limit.
 
Not wishing to seem incredibly dense, but WTF is an "egg coddler"?
Is it like a dog jacket or similar?
It is like a miniature velvet lined bollocks bra - used to stop ones bollocks swinging and banging around like a pair of demonic clackers during enegetic fornication of the back doors type.

 

JAD

LE
I got within a click of owning one of these.View attachment 219579
Forty quid for a desk ornament and a couple of days to go so my pissed mind told me to sIeep on it.
It turns out there wasn't a decimal place.
Anyone else remember the 'shaggy dog' story of the RCT driver who stole one of these during Crusader/LionHeart (insert own large scale ex) and made his bid for freedom across the channel? Urban myth, or strange but true?
You decide!
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Anyone else remember the 'shaggy dog' story of the RCT driver who stole one of these during Crusader/LionHeart (insert own large scale ex) and made his bid for freedom across the channel? Urban myth, or strange but true?
You decide!
Facepalm. Not AGAIN. it wasn't Crusader or Lionheart, it was some 10-20 years before that, he was a Royal Hussar or predecessor, and he is well known to those Arrse members from said regiment, like @cent05zr70 (I think), it really happened and he drinks out on it. Your recounting it here yet again (I dunno how many threads I have seen) will no doubt spawn another round. You owe him one.
 
Indeed. Rob Painter, Ex 11th Hussars. Newspaper cuttings are in here somewhere.
I ain't looking..it's getting boring. I wish people would pay attention.
 
I signed up for some exotic porn site once. No idea what site it was, I only found our when my credit card bill came the next month.Fecked if I can remember, what I was up to, mind I don't remember tipping half a bottle of Lambs Navy Rum on the PC either, I think the two incidents may have been related,
 
I may, in the past, have been guilty of purchasing software that was not compatible with my pc..............I believe a 12 year old malt may have played more than some small part!
 
Why do I suspect this is some kind of euphemism? I won't be googling for an answer, just in case.
That would be boiling your eggs

boil your eggs v.

To place your testicles over the anus of a farting naked woman that is standing on her head, for three minutes or so. A sexual practice that, if anyone has ever performed it, which let's face it is frankly unlikely, will undoubtedly have proved to be not worth the fucking bother.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Not me, honest. Seen on BBC News this morning.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
It is normally a pair of ceramic or glass small pots with lids.
Depending on how you prefer them you can lightly butter the pot, crack in an egg, I then put a small knob of butter on top, add salt and pepper, put the lids on then put them into a pan of water to cook them through.

Getting the timing right for how soft you want the eggs is the hard part.
Every gent should have egg coddlers.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer

Robme

On ROPS
On ROPs
Indeed. Rob Painter, Ex 11th Hussars. Newspaper cuttings are in here somewhere.
I ain't looking..it's getting boring. I wish people would pay attention.
You mus be joking, this is Arrse, nobody pays attention ever.
 

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