Mysterious Unmarked Tape...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by batmanwasjesus, Dec 12, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Hi All!

    Having recently discovered an unmarked Video cam tape, I have come to the conclusion that it is almost certainly footage of me and an old ex-girlfriend engaging in a hardcore beer fuelled sexual adventure.

    However, I have two problems with this! The first is that in order to confirm the contents of this mysterious tape, I will have to view the contents at work - the only place where I have the right equipment to view the tape.

    Secondly, once I have established that it is indeed footage of the ex getting a good boning, what to do with this golden nugget of joy? Bear in mind that I can't stand her, and her family are a) a bunch of jehovahs witnesses and b) bastards.

    Can't decide... Internet, or signed copies to all of her family?

    Thoughts please? :)
  2. I would say the answer to these deply perplexing and highly moral questions is
  3. Publish and be damned is my advice...put it on here and we'll all help you figure out whether it's worth watching!
  4. Have it converted to DVD and send it out as a festive presie to your mates and her family. I sugest using "Jingle bells" as the back ground music.
  5. I echo the above comments.
    Anything else would indicate that you still have feelings for the afformentioned harlot.
  6. On the other hand this tape maybe a parting shot for your Hex. It may or may not be a tape of her being spit roasted by you Father and Mother (with 12 inch black strap on) while she screams how good your Father is.
    Just a thought!
  7. I think you need a more structured approach to this matter.

    Get converted to DVD and then send a copy to your ex’s neighbours houses. Not the ones right next door, but about 5 or six houses down also one to the local pub for good measure.

    It will self propagate from there - thus having a longer shelf life. It will cause much more frantic running around trying to collect up all the DVD’s when she finds out after several weeks of funny stares and sniggers.

    If you send it to the relatives it will be all out in the open far too soon. A lot of people have DVD copiers now and they are all dying to use them. Gossip travels in many formats in this day and age.

    Hope this helps
  8. You could always turn it into a "podcast"
  9. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Stick it on Pornotube!
  10. Put it on and then send the link out to all and sundry at your leisure :D
  11. I for one look forward to seeing your ex girlfriend in all her sultry glory, howling in the throws of a clitoral orgasm.

    Oh, and your beautifully sculptured penis glistening with baby dew.
  12. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Geordie_Blerk,you're getting worse!!! You need help! (or more beer!!! :p )
  13. Argh argh argh just typed in amateur-blogs into the browser.

    Did i mention i am still at work?
  14. Ah how true.

    In a similar situation, I got the beers in, invited my mates round and we all watched a filum of me giving the ex a damn good* scuttling. Sure enough the gossip mill kicked in and everyone in the local now knows she's a dirty slag who loves it up her.

    Therefore, my advice is to share the love with buddies.

    *It's my fecking story, and if i say i was great then i was, OK? :p
  15. Definitely send a copy to the parents with a small note saying "This is for knocking on decent people doors and pissing them off with your god bothering crap. Bastages!!" :p