My town is great and you really should visit

#1
See, I cut around all over the country with work and have in the last few months stayed in (in no particular order) Wrexham, Ipswich, Dundee, Aigburth, Ripon, Bridgend, Norwich, Rotherham and a whole host of other places. I have to visit customers all over, and not just in large cities/county towns.
Now, at present all I have to go on before plonking for a town for the night is laterooms.com and an indication that the place has en-suite and free Wi-Fi. A curry house within walking distance is a Brucie, and a decent battle cruiser with friendly folk and maybe even a live band would be a good call, while a MILF with an interest in classic American cars would be considered a right result.
So, why should I visit your little burg on my travels? What does it have to offer my jaded palette? What top-flight food and entertainment would tempt me to your gaff?
(pics of the MILF would be a good start)
Your chance to cement the good name and reputation of your town right here on Arrse. In your own time, carry on.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#2
Not a chance stay away from my town I'm winning the battle of the bluffing cunts me!

Sent from my BlackBerry 9780 using Tapatalk
 
#3
So in other words you're a Gypsy !
 
#7
I've used laterooms myself when I was in unfamiliar territory. I've worked and stayed all over the UK: London, Manchester, Liverpool, most Yorkshire towns and cities, Carlisle, Glasgow, Inverness, Edinburgh, Southampton, Swindon, Bristol, Reading, Watford, Nottingham, Derby, Leicester, Newquay, Penzance, Plymouth, Oxford, Warrington, Blackpool, Preston, Chorley, Luton, Cambridge, Croydon, (this is reading like a rock band's tour itinerary, isn't it?), Lincoln, Coventry, Nuneaton, as well as Tyneside. In fact, I liked Tyneside so much that I ended up living there.
 
#8
Camra's "Good Beer Guide" is a reliable guide to good pubs with good beer, and it shows which ones do accommodation. I find it very useful if travelling away from home.

It doesn't cover milfs though!
 
#11
I've just got back from Lincoln and it was a hoofin night. Every bird (uni or college) wants to fuxk. And the night before we was out in Newark and the fat sluts (the only ones who are up for it) you need to get here. I literally danced with some slit for thee mins and I had my fingers on her on the dance floor.

Get on it my son

Edit to say: a lot of booties knocking about. And they Wernt happy for me n my muckka to be around
 
#12
I've just got back from Lincoln and it was a hoofin night. Every bird (uni or college) wants to fuxk. And the night before we was out in Newark and the fat sluts (the only ones who are up for it) you need to get here. I literally danced with some slit for thee mins and I had my fingers on her on the dance floor.

Get on it my son

Edit to say: a lot of booties knocking about. And they Wernt happy for me n my muckka to be around
Some cunt's moved the buttons around on your keyboard. They should be in this order:

qwertyuiop[]
asdfghjkl;'#
zxcvbnm,./
 
#14
Come to Brisbane. Nice weather, plenty of quality slags, good pubs. It's the city of winners.
Come to Mt Isa...I can't think why...but I don't want to just be the only one.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#16
I live on the Isle of Grain and I really shouldn't be posting on this thread.
I'd delete your post quickly if I were you, still at least you can look down on Sheppey!
 
#19
I've just got back from Lincoln and it was a hoofin night. Every bird (uni or college) wants to fuxk. And the night before we was out in Newark and the fat sluts (the only ones who are up for it) you need to get here. I literally danced with some slit for thee mins and I had my fingers on her on the dance floor.

Get on it my son

Edit to say: a lot of booties knocking about. And they Wernt happy for me n my muckka to be around
Was in Lincoln a year or two ago, stopping in a B&B about a mile or so from the town centre. I rang an old Army mate living there to meet for a few pints, and we basically pub crawled our way to within sight of the city wall. Fucking A, once inside it was well lively esp for a Tuesday night. Ended up in some night club, which was packed although they were a bit young, and we had to bail out soon, as we both were driving the next morning.

If it's that good on a Tuesday, what's it like at the weekend? Certainly surprised me for a smalltown.
 
#20
Bollocks I shouldn't be allowed a phone while I am this pissed up. Fuck it. You Internet nonce
Brilliant response; going from blaming your own pissed fingers to calling a random internet stranger a nonce! I did actually laugh.
 

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