My snot looks like ****!

For the last two weeks i have had this cold which Mrs Boomers gave to me in the first place! Now the other morning whilst lying in bed watching GMTV I had the biggest Nose ND ever and shot a huge round of snot onto the duvet which promptly disappeared!
Mrs Boomers comes back into the bedroom to get changed and puts her hand straight into the offending oyster and accuses me of having a crafty thrap over Fiona Ph*****
Stupidly I get all defensive and say a stupid thing like “ Sniff it woman, its snot” which has not helped my cause none. Mrs Boomers now thinks I am even more of a pervert than I once was.

Help required as I have a feeling my Christmas presents will now take on the shape and size of a tissue box! Bah.
It could be worse- your jizz could look like snot. Then you would be in trouble.
Could be worse - your jizz could look like snot, unless Mrs B likes the taste (and feel) of green grollys......
i also said to her " Why do you think god gave women legs? ...cos he saw the mess slugs made!" Its surpising how painful a pair shoes flying through the air can be.
I generally find that the longer you leave it before..erm..decanting...the more like mucus one's ejaculate becomes. In the days of long FTX's organised by soldiers and paid for by civil servants, as opposed to day-trips to the countryside on a penny-pinching shoestring, you could almost shoot a solid slug by ENDEX. I remember the look on my first wife's face when she received the good news and a highly explosive squash head delivered its chemical energy. Priceless. I think she thought she had actually got a complete testicle unloaded up her oh-be-joyful. I also remember a young lady friend who asked me to shoot on her visage during the post-exercise shag. She nearly lost an eye and then proceeeded to have a panic attack...
Post -ex decanting is a joy to behold, especially when girly invites you to 'do her in the grid' - extra points for getting it up their nose, cueing the standard splutter/choking/rabitt in headlights look........
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