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My scrote is itchy...

Surely your chemist carries remedies for jock itch. If it's a fungal infection, get an aerosol of athlete's foot spray. It may sting a bit, but it'll kill the unwanted stuff off.
Not the dreaded 'jock rash' is it? Binned my jocks when the RMO diagnosed me with it (all those years ago, while I can still remember) and told me not to wear 'em and no reoccurence since. Been 'free ballin' ever since, fuck does it piss the missus off no end.

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