My Old Man has stopped working....

#1
It wasn't sudden and he never went on strike,,he just sort of withered on the vine,,I have sort out advice but nobody has the answer on how to get him back to work,,He used to be a tunneler and a digger,,he always worked very hard with little reward,,He would Tunnel/Dig where no other man dare and maybe that was his downfall,,He was keen to find new openings and was always diligent in his work,,Of course everyone says it's his age but I'm not so sure,,,,Any advice?........
 
#5
It wasn't sudden and he never went on strike,,he just sort of withered on the vine,,I have sort out advice but nobody has the answer on how to get him back to work,,He used to be a tunneler and a digger,,he always worked very hard with little reward,,He would Tunnel/Dig where no other man dare and maybe that was his downfall,,He was keen to find new openings and was always diligent in his work,,Of course everyone says it's his age but I'm not so sure,,,,Any advice?........
Of course its his age, you halfwit!

He's as old as you and deserves some relaxation in his final years. Don't try to bribe him. Don't bully him. Don't threaten him.

Just be patient - he may surprise you one morning. Just make sure when he does appear to be recovering that you don't overwork him (again!).

You are talking about your little Jack Russell, aren't you?
 
#7
Mine retired when he was 71.Now he reads a lot and watches the sea,and enjoys gardening.He still drives and visits Tesco once a week for his rations.
 
T

trowel

Guest
#8
It wasn't sudden and he never went on strike,,he just sort of withered on the vine,,I have sort out advice but nobody has the answer on how to get him back to work,,He used to be a tunneler and a digger,,he always worked very hard with little reward,,He would Tunnel/Dig where no other man dare and maybe that was his downfall,,He was keen to find new openings and was always diligent in his work,,Of course everyone says it's his age but I'm not so sure,,,,Any advice?........
Are you talking about your husband or your father?
 
#9
Jack russel or ferret they both respond to viagra and cialis. Ask any arrser who goes to Thailand to get them some.
 
#12
Get him to the MO pronto. Declare it's causing psychological trauma. Get him on meds, but not dodgy ones supplied by some Thai ladyboy as advised above.
 
#13
Dear Spike - check it's not caught in your knicker leg and give the bike a break for a few days.

She'll appreciate the rest.
 
#14
I've been getting a stabbing pain in my right nut over the past few days...mmmm..Just saying like.
Stop stabbing yourself in the nuts. That should sort it.

Regarding Viagra, it's paying your GP for sex. Don't take one on the same night Eastenders is on, you'll be wasting your money.

Regarding Thailand, watch out for adam's apples. Waking up with a sore arrse, a funny taste in your mouth and lying next to the last turkey in the shop takes years of counselling to overcome.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#15
Regarding Thailand, watch out for adam's apples. Waking up with a sore arrse, a funny taste in your mouth and lying next to the last turkey in the shop takes years of counselling to overcome.
But if she owns a Suzuki Jeep one may look forward to a day visiting the places tourists do not often see.

The miners were done in by Maggie Thatcher. All the Viagra in Thailand will not sort the job if Maggie is in the frame.
 
#17
Enlist the aid of a splint, a cocktail stick down your japs eye should do it
 
#18
as a medic type i would say you have atheromatous plaques in your knob arteries...they've furred up!!
Google 'corpus cavernosagram'! A nice doc will inject your wee fella (wee...did you see what i did there?) with radio-opaque dye and take pics of it! This will be incredibly painful as will the follow up treatment which involves reaming out the arteries with a guidewire.

If nothing else your widgie will be dark purple and swollen to huge proportions for JUST long enough to convince some Latvian bint she's marrying a bloke with an aubergine in his pants! By the time she realises she's fucked up you'll have an unpaid housekeeper...so look on the bright side!!

Hope that helps!
 
#19
Mine retired when he was 71.Now he reads a lot and watches the sea,and enjoys gardening.He still drives and visits Tesco once a week for his rations.
Snap! (except that it's Asda for mine - he loves the morning out).

He also plays a mean (computer) keyboard!

Whatever you do Tuffy do not, whatever you do, go down the road of a late drinking (and service) friend of mine who, when he found his JT was no longer functional destroyed himself with alcohol and died far too young (in his late fifties which to me, thinking back now, was very young).

He used to regale me with tales of how the ladies would appreciate his chat-up lines and come-to-bed drills but would then be rather scathing at his failure to follow through. I was never quite sure how much was fiction but it made for some entertaining nights out. He once told me of meeting a sophisticated lady, a total stranger, on the Carlisle to Barrow train. By the time they reached Workington she had invited him to a hotel there. He spent an entire evening reliving the moment(s) of his failure to fully satisfy the lady in question.

Is there a Bowls Club in your village?

My friend was ex RE by the way. Is that significant?
 
#20
as a medic type i would say you have atheromatous plaques in your knob arteries...they've furred up!!
Google 'corpus cavernosagram'! A nice doc will inject your wee fella (wee...did you see what i did there?) with radio-opaque dye and take pics of it! This will be incredibly painful as will the follow up treatment which involves reaming out the arteries with a guidewire.

If nothing else your widgie will be dark purple and swollen to huge proportions for JUST long enough to convince some Latvian bint she's marrying a bloke with an aubergine in his pants! By the time she realises she's fucked up you'll have an unpaid housekeeper...so look on the bright side!!

Hope that helps!
I concur with this.

What I know about medicine would fit on the back of a postage stamp with plenty of additional room for Peter Dow's CV - I just think it would be highly amusing.
 

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