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My new hobby

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Aleegee1698

Guest
#1
After reading the PTSD Worldwide Again thread, I was advised to "get a life" by "General Nobody", and not spend too much time on here.

I must give him some credit for his comments, what with running a small company, looking after me wife and 2 daughters, its come to the stage where I need to get my priorities right and spend less "Me time" and more on the former.

I ordered this last week, and its changed my life:

Its an industrial Insect-killer. Gone are the days of hitting the Refresh button on here, I can now sit down watching Telly in the living-room, and waiting for the BZzzzzzzzzzzz! as an unwarey Fly, (immediate death, body dismembered) Moth, (total incineration) or even better, a wasp (the fight for life at 3500V takes a couple of seconds with wasps), meet their maker.

The kids even place bets on the next victim!

I m thinking of covertly filming a couple of hours activity and submitting it to Youtube, maybe I ll become famous!

What earth-shatteringly interesting Pastimes have you got, apart from Arrse?

P.S Not SPAM. The Originator of this post has no connection with the manufacturers of "The Terminator" and does not receive commission from the manufacturer, or condone its use. Any similarities between actors and living persons is entirely coincidental.
 

Attachments

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
I like not washing my feet for a few months then spending a couple of hours of an evening picking out all the black bits from inbetween my toes.
 
#4
I don't have any hobbies, unless downloading porn counts as one. I don't even watch half of them, but the thought of having 1000gb of filth just makes me want to carry on!
 
#5
I like to keep fit by masturbating, takes a bit to get my heart rate up though and does not last long. Also fails to exercise the major muscle groups. Have tried different positions, but to no avail. I usually have an energy drink to replace lost fluids, usually Carling.
 
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Aleegee1698

Guest
#6
I like to keep fit by masturbating, takes a bit to get my heart rate up though and does not last long. Also fails to exercise the major muscle groups. Have tried different positions, but to no avail. I usually have an energy drink to replace lost fluids, usually Carling.
Yeh, I like doing that! I m right-handed, so I normally lay on my left arm until its got pins-n-needles and gone to sleep and then start off, feels as if some cheap whore is doing me the favour with a Rabbit in her hand.

Er,....it sounded funnier down the pub.....................
 
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trowel

Guest
#7
I like to keep fit by masturbating, takes a bit to get my heart rate up though and does not last long. Also fails to exercise the major muscle groups. Have tried different positions, but to no avail. I usually have an energy drink to replace lost fluids, usually Carling.
Being a wanker does not mean you have a hobby, merely a lifestyle. Carling is not an energy drink, however it is quite healthy due to its almost total lack of alcohol contentment. Hope you find this helpful.
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
Its more fun if you use one of those electified tennis racket - type fly swatters. If its exceptionally 'mozzie - ish' and you wave it about fast enough, it almost sounds like blatting off a full mag on auto!
 

WatchingWater

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#14
I've become amazing at getting snubbed by hot girls; they lead me on then turn me down last second. In fact I think they have some sort of league table to compare how long they drag me along for and how far they get before they turn me down. It really is fun.
 
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Aleegee1698

Guest
#15
I've become amazing at getting snubbed by hot girls; they lead me on then turn me down last second. In fact I think they have some sort of league table to compare how long they drag me along for and how far they get before they turn me down. It really is fun.
You are young. They lead you on until your taxi-fare back to camp has elapsed, they are all pissed, only you stand there sober, like a dog on heat, but when the last rounds are on you, its "Fuck-off" time.

Tip: Pretend you are Jarrod, or get a better paid job.
 

WatchingWater

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#16
It's not that though; it's this whole facebook generation thing, they'll contact me on it then meet up with me after that, get right up to the moment, then stop. It's weird compared to pulling on a night out, I don't have to put any effort in. I'm not bitter!...cough cough (I won't descend into modern day social/moral degradation)
 
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Aleegee1698

Guest
#17
It's not that though; it's this whole facebook generation thing, they'll contact me on it then meet up with me after that, get right up to the moment, then stop. It's weird compared to pulling on a night out, I don't have to put any effort in. I'm not bitter!...cough cough (I won't descend into modern day social/moral degradation)
Maybe they ve watched too much "Silence of the Lambs", and the thought of you, size 18 pushing them into the back of that SRV, eyeing their clothes, is a turn-off. Be more up-front, I always like to say "before we meet up for months, being over-friendly, wouldnt you like to cut the crap and see the length of my cock". Its a win/win situation.
 

WatchingWater

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#19
Maybe they ve watched too much "Silence of the Lambs", and the thought of you, size 18 pushing them into the back of that SRV, eyeing their clothes, is a turn-off. Be more up-front, I always like to say "before we meet up for months, being over-friendly, wouldnt you like to cut the crap and see the length of my cock". Its a win/win situation.
You mean I spent the past 19 years eating all this crappy junk food and dedicating myself to piling on the pounds, for no reason? I was led to believe that the rolls of flab slowly accumulating on my body frame were attractive to the opposite sex?! Fuck it I'll try that approach next time on facebook. If not I'll stick to alcoholic encounters.
 
#20
I really like going to church, it's the only place on a Sunday morning you can meet sick perverts who can be bothered to get out of bed.
 

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