My new ex booty mate

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by goingtroppo, Jun 16, 2009.

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  1. I got done for speeding today. So what? I hear you say. Well after living in Northern Australia for the last 4 years this was the first time I have been caught. Now while receiving the standard lecture from plod (who was about 5 feet 2 inches tall) for getting clocked at a frightening 14kph over the 100kph speed limit I notice a GSM ribbon on the shirt of said plod. Then I realise that he also has an English accent. So I think to myself that I should get off with this minor traffic infringement, as for once I have something in common with an officer of the law, with both of us being ex forces.

    I asked him "did you spend a bit of time in Ulster mate?
    Plod: "yes"
    Me: Oh aye, what were you in?
    Plod: "Royal Marines"
    Me: "where did you serve?"
    Plod: "Newry"
    Me: " Good for you mate, I got out about 10 years ago after doing 8 years"
    Plod " I'll be back in a minute, wait in your vehicle"

    He pissed off back to his car with my license and it was then that I realised that my attempt to talk my way out of this was not going well and the ex bootneck was showing no interest in even having a yarn about the old days let alone getting involved in any bezzering. Alas I concluded I would be leaving the scene with a dirty license and a few dollars less in my wallet.

    Sure enough a few moments later Queenslands finest revenue raiser returned and handed me a ticket for $133 and a point off my License. His parting words were "be careful as we will be around this area for the next week, oh and have a nice day"

    Now as I drove back to work I thought to myself well at least that experience had reinforced 2 things that I have always believed to be true.

    1) Small man syndrome is definitely a disease and sufferers should never ever be allowed to wear a uniform or carry a badge or a gun.

    2) ACAB

    Have a nice day.
  2. Obey the speed limit.No problem.
  3. I also wear the medals I'm entitled to on uniform I'm entitled to wear. Does that make me a walt in your books too?

    To the hole please!
  4. If you no longer serve then yes.
  5. It may be a case that your gutless attempt at bezzering merely wafted the stench of 'hat' under his finely honed nostrils and re-enforced his decision to ticket you. You may have been better off rolling round in the dirt with him play biting his ear and subjecting him to a monstrous wedgie, he would have pinged you as Royal and you would have been home free...
  6. It's cos you is a hat innit :D
  7. I cant disagree with you but the steely eyed dealer death nipped my attempt well and truly in the bud and dealt me the ticket pronto.
  8. I was bored, but not this bored.

    He earned the medal so he hasn't made anything up has he? tw@
  9. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    ...of course if you had been semi-naked with a couple of rollmats to hand, things may have ended up differently :wink:

    $133 dollars would have been worth a parting question of "How many different continents have the cabbage heads surrendered on since WW2?"
  10. Dont get into convo ! Just dive in, by default alone testosterone will kick in, you can encircle each other in the dust cloudwith nostrils flaring and you'll be dry humping within the minute ! Im speaking from experience ! :D
  11. True reni,but if you're other lid clicked in you'd be dry bumming him :D
  12. Does this mean that thousands of chaps in suits and bowler hats who walk up and down Whitehall every November are walts for wearing medals as they are no longer serving?

    Once you have been awarded a medal or award it is for you to keep. I suspect that there will be plenty of ex British Forces now gone down under wearing their medals on their new adopted uniforms.

    This copper is probably a product of new policing, well gone are the days of "BFG mate, go on your way try to keep to about 90 in the UK and perhaps 8 bottles of Wobbly might impair your driving skills, on your way old boy!"

    Still sounds like a miserable tw&t
  13. True reni,but if you're other lid clicked in you'd be dry bumming him :D[/quote][/i][/b]

    How depressingly true :( Im like a lost puppy post rugby match, dont know whether to get 'skin on skin' with a muscly blond chap or snog a baldy with a fat tache :D
  14. No it doesnt mean that. I do think that he is walting though. And I cannot not think of any reason why his new colleagues in the Queensland police would need or want to know that he had served in NI.
  15. Do you wear the uniform of a NCP car park attendant? Do you walk with a limp?