My Mrs is killing me

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by DieHard, Oct 6, 2012.

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  1. DieHard

    DieHard LE Book Reviewer

    Mrs D has taken over the tv with x factor and x factor usa add strictly come dancing and other so called reality shows and it is slowly killing me.
    She has even removed the porn channels and watches catch up choccywocydoda when the football comes on.
    I have tried poison in her tea, under cooked chicken and pretending to be death but all to no effect. I even got a tv for the bedroom, but that keeps losing channels? I have considered suicide but can't a bothered sounds a bit painfull .
     
  2. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    You could man up?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Sky plus anytime & Multi room! Or show her to the 'Fritzel' suite...
     
  4. You sound just as boring as your wife does.
     
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  5. Pfft you have it easy!! When MrBee is home all I get is any bloody programme to do with military history,guns or tanks, with the news randomly dispersed between programmes.

    I do a lot of vacuuming to piss him off :)
     
  6. Are you sure you're not Mrs Rebel.
     
  7. Have you tried sitting on his face, when he reaches for the remote? Practically guaranteed to get you more attention. Unless there's something really good on.

    Obviously, the vacuuming should be done before he gets home.
     
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  8. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    Why would that piss him off? He's watching telly and you're doing the housework. You've obviously been trained properly
     
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  9. Get down the pub.

    But then again, my local has for some reason taken to accomodating the demands of various harridans who wish to live their dreams through the pitiful 15 minuters that Simon Bowell and his merry cohorts drag and as swiftly return from / to obscurity by watching this crap.

    That was until last weekend when once such harridan pushed her luck. I though I was quite polite in telling her I and many other blokes came to the pub to escape that shite. She disagreed but then I put more money across the bar.

    Smart woman the landlady. Peace has broken out again and the lard arsed no lifed one has not been seen since.

    I'm worried she might self harm.
     
  10. It doesn't sound as though you're living up to your name. More like die like a wimp screaming and wimpering for sympathy on arrse
     
  11. You vacuum? Do you fuck MrBee too cos either he is spoiled or at 36 I backed the wrong horse.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. There's no point, he comes home, Bergen is dropped in the middle of the living room, he then sits at the dining room table and clean his boots, que me cleaning all the mess up.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. DieHard

    DieHard LE Book Reviewer

    She also has various awards for judo and is rock hard and is very accurate with the crockery.
    Looks like its gonna be the pub for me, at least if I walk in singing she will pretend to be asleep and later say what time die you get in
     
  14. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    I take it back. You're not properly trained. Otherwise you'd be cleaning his boots