English Bloke, Scots bloke and immigrant all having a drink in a pub. Scots bloke says "this is a nice wee boozer, but I know a pub back hame in Glasgae, that if its your first time in the pub the landlord gives you a free pint of heavy and a whiskey chaser, hoose that fae hospitality?" English bloke says "sounds great but in my local, if its your first time in the pub, the landlord treats you to two pints and a bar meal, not bad eh?" The immigrant says "Thats why I love zis wonderful country, I too know a pub that when you first go in there, they make sure that your never buy a drink all night, so you get really drunk then they take you upstairs for a night of shagging." The English and Scottish bloke are totally gobsmacked and say to there immigrant friend "thats brilliant, but tell the truth, did that actually happen to you?" The immigrant says "well, no, not me, but it definately happened to my sister!"