My Last Night Abusing Taffs Tinternet

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Dale the snail, Jun 25, 2005.

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  1. Ok Kids, he lives 2 doors down from me, and is always willing to let me sit here and abuse his tinternet, sometimes in my jim jams, sometimes in clothes, at the moment, we are both gay and wearing ARMY grey t-shirts, navy shorts and drinking red wine (I am on Jacobs Creek - its ok and he will only touch Blossom hill - the puff).

    Taff made the best CD ever in the world for me (Sorry LJH) Full of New Order and Kelly Jones and he may have looked at my Maroon 5 and Keane now and again. (No-one say burning) However, The Violent Femmes bring all their music on the bus. (one for Ballbag)

    He even leaves his door open so I can get on here to abuse the wasters - how cool is that? He even puts Star Wars on for me so I can lech at Luke. I am also listening to the official CD of the 99 Rugby World Cup. Shirley Bassey, Bryn Terfel and the unforgettable black mountain male chorus!

    Mind you he does have a photo of Mr Snail on his wall. With 30 other men. Never mind. F uck - I just got bollocked for saying 30 - there were 75 mess members.

    Your thanks for Taff please.
     
  2. Get a real life Dale, FFS.
     
  3. I have.

    FFS he is setting up Jenga now.

    You know I will let him set it up and trash it.

    I am his fantasy bird from Cyprus. 15 years ago.
     
  4. Keep the fantasy alive ;)
     
  5. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I must be sober - I can't understand a fecking word of this!
     
  6. Taff's looking to poke Dale. He must be a very lazy man if he can't be bothered to w*nk instead.
     
  7. I am far from sober and I don't understand it either.
     
  8. Feck both of the Scotts are sober this late in the day!!
    I hope you had fun Dale.
     
  9. So why is it / was it your last night?
    Has he finally discovered the truth & called the police?

    Incidentally, I know a guy called Taff, I wonder if it's the same bloke?
    Welsh guy with a penchant for mooses?

    TTFN

    BFG
     
  10. Dale. Your his fantasy bird from cyprus 15 years ago and he's doing anything he can to please you. He's kept the torch alight mate. Its only one step from this to cutting off your arms and legs and keeping you in a box.

    Boney
     
  11. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Ah this reminds me of the old story told in the glens since yon time.

    English army heading to sort out Scotland, come to a hill just over the border. At the top of the hill is a lone Jock - "Cum on youse English barstewards if you think you are hard enough" (or words to that effect).

    King Tw@t turns to his Captain and says "Take your company up the hill Rupert and sort out that Jock" "Yess Sir" Says the Captain " Can I kiss you arrse first please Sir, and when I come back can I give you a BJ?"

    Captain takes his company up the hill - easy job 1 x Jock v 100 x Englishmen - fair odds.

    The next thing King Tw@t sees is the Captain speeding down the hill - outstripping his men by miles. Captain gets to King and in a breathless hoarse whisper says

    "Get back my Lord - it's a trap - there are 2 of them".

    Boom Boom.
     
  12. Well, that was a rib tickler. I'll just off and stick some sharp sticks up my japs eye.