My Kill list

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Al-the-Gee 1698, Oct 16, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Just a bog-standard ex JLR/Reg started earning good pocket money at a pig-farm 13 yrs old, blah blah, cycled 8 miles there and back blah blah etc, but, its true.

    I look around me, I have the privilage of owning everything I have, makes me somewhat proud, cos I ve torn my arse off for it.

    I m in FRG, the Milk-cow of Europe (and the Third world).

    I ve had a detailed look at some of the 7 billion around me, and I dont like what I see. After some debatation with the Missus and my 2 daughters, we have devised a plan to save Germany billions of Euros p.a., mostly by involutary euthanasia:

    1) Erase any families who are unemployed in the 2 nd generation
    2) Force any pregnant female on benefits to have an abortion/sterilise
    3) Develope a 2 class society, one for the Do-ers, one for the Idle.
    4) Kill anyone who calls their child Chantelle, Tulip-Rose, or Utterly-Butterly
    5) Anyone who has appeared on a Talk-show must be euthanised ( c/w whole family/friends)
    6) Persons with an IQ of below 50, either given the chance to develope on a Jeremy Kyle show, or face the Firing-squad
    7) Banning any person by the name of Werewolf, or slight derivatives thereof from inter-communicative activities on internet forums, to allieviate Bullshit-o-meters
    8) Killing or severe maiming of anyone who plays x-box between 0800-1700hrs
    9) Ditto, Television
    10) anyone who posts "Like if you hate cancer, ignore if you want to be rammed up the bum by Satan" in Facebook.

    The list is endless. I am a very tolerant being, although I have my limits.

    I would appreciate your contributions in order to ascertain my sanity.

    Lets open another Veltins....
     
  2. I'm sensing you're not a happy bunny at the moment.
     
  3. Let's hold hands and sing together.


    You fucking freak.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. You may not be the first person, not of german origin who has seen a solution to Germany's problems...

    I think your plan is laudable, I would suggest a minor change to the plan, use the delinquents from point 8 to kill off everyone else, they'll think they're "hard" because of all the CoD playing, the other factor is that CoD will have desensitised them to the point that blowing off Britneys face with a franchai spaz will be easy.

    Once the dirty work is done you can have a, "night of the long knives" and slaughter the xbox freaks (they'll be wheezy and easy to catch)

    Wishing you well with your plan,

    A_B
     
  5. Bravo! Have at it.
     
  6. I'm telling.

    Yours aye, Dale xxx

    Pssst, you are never allowed in Arrsevillle, you cunts.
     
  7. Amongst the anger (have a cuppa old boy) you appear to be a farmer. Well except for the fact that the land shouldnt be yours, I do respect you.

    In order to make a living, you have to breed pigs, which means buy a plot (or lease a plot) get some baby pigs and essentially utilising what mother nature gave them, our love of bacon and the price of meat vs. the price to rear, butcher and sell it you make a living, a bloody one and I wont hear of hard done by farmers.

    What I hate is commercial fishermen, the rapists of the sea, they just fuckin take and take and leave nothing behind except floats and nets and crates and plastic gloves, then they whinge about there not being any fish.

    So I say lets carve up the sea like the fields and make fishermen grow their own, otherwise, please send your U-Boats to use their nets to pull them to their demise.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Did I just get called a bloke?
     
  9. And there was me thinking this would be Arrse version of Kill Bill or something.



    How bloody diasspointed am I...
     
  10. You're all my bitches now.

     
  11. Would it be the first time?
     
  12. My new publication will be going to print shortly. "Aleegee and his allergy: the rest of the planet", a gripping tale of one mans quest to protect the 1% of chosen humanity, and exterminate the worthless rest" ISBN 345221698

    "I cried" Jeremy Kyle

    "A political "How it works" book, magnificent" M. Thatcher
     
  13. Nope.

    Kit off.
     

  14. Only if you say please, I'm not 'that' easy ;-)
     
  15. I d lurve to hold your lickle nicotine stained, dog-shit minging hands and sing for Our Good Lord. Unfortunately, I have to get up early tomorrow to keep the thrux of German Chavs fed.

    It aint easy Sweetpea, but I ll manage.

    Cross cross cross.