My husbands in-Should i join?

Discussion in 'Join the Army - Regular Soldier Recruitment' started by staceyfisher87, Mar 24, 2009.

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  1. hi everyone. you've probably seen a post from me regarding Help4Heroes mount kilimanjaro trek, we still need sponsorship, but were dong ok.

    anyway, My husbands in the army and has been in for nearly 11 years now, i met him in 06 on his return from Kenya, and i had an application to join up going through the processes, that was untill he told me what he did. I felt like i'd be some kind of crazy stalker if i joined up when id just met him, as i wanted to be in the Engineers and thats what he does. We are now married and have a beautiful daughter, but i just feel really empty, and i regret withdrawing my application.

    should i re-apply and have the career ive always dreamed of? and if i did, do you think it'd affect my marriage, or should i just get over it, and let him have his career instead, and i concentrate on being a mother and a house wife.

    aarrggghhh! please advise. xx
  2. Good to see your husand's in full working order :wink:
  3. sorry, haha, that was a typo. should have said DOING.
  4. Well It would be difficult with you both serving as you probably would be posted apart could you handle that?
    Who would look after the kids?
    Lots to think about
  5. I would imagine that you would be able to have much better advice and input by sitting down with your husband and explaining how you feel to him, and discussing the issues sensibly with him, rather than asking 40 odd thousand total strangers on the internet.

    You recognise yourself that your personal circumstances are markedly different now from the way they were when you met your (now) husband. Having a child, while fantastic, also puts obligations and responsibilities on you both in terms of the family. You would need to explore how service life would work for the family if you were to apply now.

    Having said that, if this is something that you really desire, you will have to consider what the long term effect of not attempting it will be.

    Whatever you decide, good luck. I wish you happiness and fulfilment on whatever path you choose.
  6. i know, the sensible thing would be to let him have his career and i be the loving supportive wife. It's just that when he's at home and he's talking about work and what they've done and up and coming training sounds really stupid but it upsets me because i really wanted that too. I know i sound like a silly moaning cow who needs to just get a grip but i have always tried to please everyone else throughout my life and have been what others want me to be and im getting sick of just 'existing'
  7. Behave or take it to the naafi,

    Stacey maybe a more anonymous user name would serve you better.
  8. Really good advice. Thank you schweik.
  9. yeah i did think about that after i posted this.
  10. What you doing on the computer! Can't believe he let you out the kitchen!

    lol - There's always one..................and I always try to make sure it's me!
  11. well if you change your user name or get one of the mods to change it, it will change on all your posts past and present
  12. Maybe you want to try the TA first. You might get a sense of reality, the problems, issues and if it is not just a case of the grass looking greener!
    Both parents serving is very difficult, there are however many more forfilling careers that you could do while still supporting your husband, family and filling your needs.
  13. oh ok. well i'll just leave it. i kind of have the answer to my question anyway. But thank you.
  14. no problems your very welcome
  15. i agree, however, if i went TA he would absolutley slate me for being a ''part-timer''
    Thank you for the advice anyway but i have the answer to my question now. I think it is best if i let him have his career and i be a mum and make my own in a different way.
    what you could do is check out:
    and tell me what you think of it, just something i have been doing in my spare time.
    thank you.