My Horroscope

Auld-Yin

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#1
Ladles & Gentlespoons,

I noticed today that Yahoo have decided that this is my immediate future i.e. tomorrow:

Leo
You love everyone on this great Earth, dear Leo, and this is not the day to come bothering you with all the little details of everyday life. You are in orbit, on a voyage to the stars, and this great feeling of freedom is pushing you to demand more justice on Earth. You might even find the perfect situation today to use your wonderful diplomatic skills. It's the least you can do!
Do you not think that this is a perfect encapsulation of my persona?

Mayhaps you would like to write your own version (MDN feck off)

I look forward to those pearls of wisdom that true Arrsers can cum forth with in moments of dire need.

Aye thang yew.
 

Auld-Yin

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#3
Badger_Heed said:
Is your name Leo? Thats a right puffs name that is.
When are you going to die?
Nurse - B-H has forgotten to take his pills again. Get the straight jacket ready :roll:
 

Auld-Yin

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#5
Good - tomorrow never comes!
 
#6
Auld,

Can I have your vintage collection of Buckie and porridge when you pop your clogs??
 
#7
Auld-Yin said:
Ladles & Gentlespoons,

I noticed today that Yahoo have decided that this is my immediate future i.e. tomorrow:

Leo
You love everyone on this great Earth, dear Leo, and this is not the day to come bothering you with all the little details of everyday life. You are in orbit, on a voyage to the stars, and this great feeling of freedom is pushing you to demand more justice on Earth. You might even find the perfect situation today to use your wonderful diplomatic skills. It's the least you can do!
Do you not think that this is a perfect encapsulation of my persona?

Mayhaps you would like to write your own version (MDN feck off)

I look forward to those pearls of wisdom that true Arrsers can cum forth with in moments of dire need.

Aye thang yew.
Oh god your a tree hugger, please tell me its not true........
 
#8
If you got this as a Leo birth sign bloke, you will realise that, good as it is, it in no way fully reveals what a wonderful and smashing person you are. Deserving of the finest of everything.

Now guess my birth sign.
 
#10
The thing about horoscopes is that they bullshit tell you what is going to happen that day, reading it at night isn't really going to do much good.

And what type of man reads horoscopes???
 
#11
My Horroscope for you is {looks into his crystal ball}
I see a journy, you will travel to place where there is water and peace. Once you are there you will make an offering to the water gods and in return feel much relief in life.
You Auld-Yin will be be going to the loo today.
You can now cross my palm with silver after washing your hands.
 
#12
#13
Scorpio October 24 - November 21
The week will start off shaky for you when your town is hit by a 9.6 magnitude quake and get even worse on Thursday when you're gang-raped by bikers in an incident that doesn't lend itself well to a trite play on words.
Quality, Osnabruck is getting levelled, no need to read the rest, it has to be good.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

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#14
(AY's true horoscope)


Dear Leo,

So you're sat there all alone wearing your grey pish swamped skiddies, battered string vest and one sock, amongst the old newspapers, well thumbed porn and copious but equally spread out lumps of cat sh*te? What few friends you had abandoned you long, long ago and your family are never around. Never mind, a small windfall is heading your way and I predict that your Giro will be shoved through the broken glass on what's left of your front door, since the local kids decided that you were one of life's victims.

Mystic Biscuits.
 
#15
The stars tell me that today you will take much abuse from your fellow Arrsers for admitting to something as girly as reading your horoscope. I didn't know Miss Sixteen did them.

Boggin' Royals, help ma boab...
 
#16
Saying you're unhealthy is one thing, saying you're trouble is another, but when the cops invite the parents up to see how you smell so they can tell if their kids are using you, it's almost too much.
Well I'm doing well today then?! :lol:
 
#17
Pisces February 19 - March 20
You suspect you're finally going a little soft when you start enjoying the kind of pornography in which the pig lives.
Greenhomer, this must be you.
 
#18
General Your day will start off as it normally does, Empty! as you go through the day romance my blossom in the form of a PM from Moody Bitch inviting you to a shite soaked hovel in Aldershot, take up the offer it the best one you will have today.

Work Your prospects today are pretty low, as this is the third time you ve been late for your street sweeping duties, take comfort in those half eaten macdonalds that you stash away for your tea

[/b]Money[b] Riches and Wealth are on the horizon, however that means more work to do, you are a lazy feking slacker, those riches will remain on the horizon.

Romance[i] Let your inhibitions fly with your new love, venus nudging its way into your starsign ensures you will shoot your bolt on friday.
 
#19
smartascarrots said:
The stars tell me that today you will take much abuse from your fellow Arrsers for admitting to something as girly as reading your horoscope. I didn't know Miss Sixteen did them.

Boggin' Royals, help ma boab...
Ah Miss Sixteen, soft porn for cheapskates. All that young, pert flesh *drools*

I'm just off to the newsagents, I may need to stop off at the public toilets on the way back.
 

Auld-Yin

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#20
scotlass said:
Auld-Yin said:
Ladles & Gentlespoons,

I noticed today that Yahoo have decided that this is my immediate future i.e. tomorrow:

Leo
You love everyone on this great Earth, dear Leo, and this is not the day to come bothering you with all the little details of everyday life. You are in orbit, on a voyage to the stars, and this great feeling of freedom is pushing you to demand more justice on Earth. You might even find the perfect situation today to use your wonderful diplomatic skills. It's the least you can do!
Do you not think that this is a perfect encapsulation of my persona?

Mayhaps you would like to write your own version (MDN feck off)

I look forward to those pearls of wisdom that true Arrsers can cum forth with in moments of dire need.

Aye thang yew.
Oh god your a tree hugger, please tell me its not true........
Oy!!!!

This is hot news taken from 'tinterweb, not my words. My question is does the description fit 'Moi'? Now if you wish to be a tree-hugger Scotslass, please bring the viagra with you as I have run out :oops:
 

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