my friend asks whats the best cure for crabs

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by outhecarstirling, Mar 22, 2011.

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  1. i told him to fill the bath with onions and really hot water and when the crabs go to wipe there eyes they will fall off
  2. Hahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahaha

  3. Spread treacle on the affected doesn't kill them but it does rot their teeth.
  4. Castor sugar ,rub it in it rots there teeth, he will get a good nights sleep ,or failing that get a block of ice suspend it over his meet and two veg , in the morning his bellend will be bigger , tell him to peel his foreskin back and catch the little basterd whilst there frozen .
  5. Many years ago, Fally Med centre.

    Crusty Old Doctor yelling (possibly Scots, but it was a long time ago). "LCpl ringdoby, do you know how you catch crabs?", as he examined my meat and 2 veg.

    Me, panicking "errr, unprotected sex, toilet seats, doss bags"

    Crusty Old Doctor, still shouting "No, shagging dirty women".

    I walked out his surgery into a waiting room full of pads wives looking disgusted.
  6. Best cure for crabs? Sell their shiny fast jets and make them pay for their own hotel rooms.

    Sorry - serious answer - pour sand and whiskey on the affected area.

    The crabs will get drunk and throw rocks at each other.
  7. I would have thought the best cure for Crabs is a transfer from the RAF into the Army!