my friend asks whats the best cure for crabs

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by outhecarstirling, Mar 22, 2011.

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  1. i told him to fill the bath with onions and really hot water and when the crabs go to wipe there eyes they will fall off
     
  2. Hahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahaha

    Ha
     
  3. Spread treacle on the affected area...it doesn't kill them but it does rot their teeth.
     
  4. Castor sugar ,rub it in it rots there teeth, he will get a good nights sleep ,or failing that get a block of ice suspend it over his meet and two veg , in the morning his bellend will be bigger , tell him to peel his foreskin back and catch the little basterd whilst there frozen .
     
  5. Many years ago, Fally Med centre.

    Crusty Old Doctor yelling (possibly Scots, but it was a long time ago). "LCpl ringdoby, do you know how you catch crabs?", as he examined my meat and 2 veg.

    Me, panicking "errr, unprotected sex, toilet seats, doss bags"

    Crusty Old Doctor, still shouting "No, shagging dirty women".

    I walked out his surgery into a waiting room full of pads wives looking disgusted.
     
  6. Best cure for crabs? Sell their shiny fast jets and make them pay for their own hotel rooms.


    Sorry - serious answer - pour sand and whiskey on the affected area.

    The crabs will get drunk and throw rocks at each other.
     
  7. I would have thought the best cure for Crabs is a transfer from the RAF into the Army!