Got home today. I have a bullmastiff. Good old piece of meat. About 150 pounds worth of flesh. Said mastiff was very restless when I got to the old shelter this evening. He wanted to play but I was so bummed out I was ready to hit the sack. Stupid mastiff jumps up and gives me the look that says "nothing will make me happier than a eight mile run." I say to him "you are WRONG." He replies by dragging my exhausted carcass across the room. The suddenly, a stroke of genius hits me. I decide to get him some beer. Lots and and lots of beer. Which he happilly gulps like there is no tomorrow. He downed a six pack of the frothy liquid very easily. Now, the old dog is drunk. He is running around wagging his tail and growling at me. He has already come within inches of biting off my balls. I, in turn, have come within three seconds of shooting him in the face with my old shotgun. What to do?