My boyfriend can't come.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Jan 29, 2013.

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  1. Tell him to stop wanking with a death grip so much.
     
  2. Ask for my phone number. Fully loaded.
     
  3. "Some men simply take longer to ejaculate than others, and sometimes this is because they require more intense penile sensation than most mouths or vaginas can provide."


    So its up her her arse then.Simples
     
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  4. Just read it. Christ, humour in CiF?? That's a first.
     
  5. "I have been with my boyfriend for two months and we were both virgins when we had sex for the first time. I feel so sad because I can't get him to come. We do foreplay and I give him oral sex to get him in the mood. He says once he enters me it feels good but after a minute he doesn't feel anything any more. Can you please help us get over this problem?"

    My advice - he should try shagging a woman and stop sticking his todger up your hoop, you mincing ghey.
     
  6. Or progressively more abrasive aggregates!
     
  7. Bets on her being a twenty stone swamp donkey with a very wealthy father?
     
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  8. You'd think that none of those commenters knew that a tube of sandpaper (fine grade) lubricated with a good chili sauce is the best of all possible aids to orgasm. Perhaps we should keep it secret.
     
  9. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Run out of the Daily Mail had they? Fucking Pakistani newspaper sellers. I would torch their bins and hoy them through their windows the fucking cunts.

    Did you see that story in the Daily Mail the other day about that Lithuanian dwarf who tried to mount a pony? It was really funny.

    Here it is...

     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Without lube !
     
  11. Well,I hope he sends an apologies card. Or dips his dick in ink,so if he doesn't come,he can always write......I'll get my coat.
     
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  12. I love English Electric 1Co Co1 Class 40.s, don.t you?
     
  13. I'd suggest she brings a girl friend in to help.