Must be some fcuking hard water in Egypt

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by browny31310, Jul 10, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Teen pregnant 'from swimming in pool'16:00 AEST Fri Jul 10 20092 hours 29 minutes agoBy ninemsn staffVIEWS: 0| FLOCKS: 0| 0 comments so farMore world news: Father joins search for UK backpacker
    Jul 10, 2009Four people gored in Pamplona bull run
    Jul 10, 2009Rudd meets IMF, World Bank chiefs
    Jul 10, 2009Rudd signs off on global warming deal
    Jul 10, 2009Suu Kyi's trial resumes in Burma
    Jul 10, 200910,000 homes destroyed in China quake
    Jul 10, 2009US State Department under cyber attack
    Jul 10, 2009Darwin woman to face East Timor trial
    Jul 10, 2009Woman to be charged over driving death
    Jul 10, 2009Robbers strip 300 graves at historic cemetery
    Jul 10, 2009
    A mother is suing a hotel in Egypt after claiming her 13-year-old daughter got pregnant from swimming in a pool, a report claims.

    Magdalena Kwiatkowska is convinced her daughter is a virgin and came into contact with some sperm as she swam in the hotel pool, British tabloid The Sun reports.

    Mrs Kwiatkowska is now reportedly seeking compensation after returning to the family home in Poland.

    "The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there," a travel industry source was quoted as saying.

    "She is determined to go ahead with the case."

    Tourist authorities in the Polish capital Warsaw confirmed they received Mrs Kwiatkowska's complaint, the newspaper said.

  2. Perhaps Egypt is taking the stem cell sperm production to a whole new level :)

    Or... where's MDN?
  3. Oh fekking reeeaaaallly

    How naive is the mother, I bet she got pregnant by someone touching her knee!
  4. It was the SPS - Special Sperm Squadron. They were flicked off a 4th floor balcony overlooking the pool, hitting the water and regrouping, before conducting a tactical approach towards the target and stealthily infiltrating her bikini.

    The entire Squadron was tragically lost with the brave exception of Semen A, who survived the acid tunnel and completed his mission by merging with the waiting friendly force.
  5. already don
  6. I rather think it was a waiting friendly force that got this kid pregnant... Waiting on tables at dinner that is.
  7. I'll wager she got pregnant by some fcuker inserting his blood engorged penis into her tight adolescent vagina and thrusting till he flooded it with sperm. He then probably asked her for 20 Euros to help his sick mother.
  8. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    Bet the bloke's chuffed to buggery. Talk about a let-off! No child support worries for you, son!
  9. the event of a baby, who gets to pay maintenance...the pool attendant?..........That mother is just one fcuking raw prawn, the daughter has been dishing up to Gypo waiters and got a result, QED.
  10. Makes all of the research by British scientists to create sperm from stem cells to waste. They just need a couple of buckets of Egyptian pool water and it is sorted
  11. No, in fact I am far more of a gentleman than that and I actually bought her an ice-cream (only to take away the taste of the rohypnol laced vodka).

    But you were right on all other counts!!
  12. Makes you wonder where the Judeans got their water from 2,000 years ago.
  13. Whilst I was in the pool at the time, there is no evidence that seeing a thirteen year old girl in a bikini led to a furious bout of ham-shanking with the little me firing it out through the hole in the pocket of the swimming shorts. Therefore I will be contesting the CSA claim against my wages.
  14. No, No, NO- she got it from a toilet seat, that's where babies come from. Don't you know anything?