Murphy's law on Excercise

#1
Having left the forces a few years ago I thought I'd come and have a look at your Arrse.

Its full of whinging basterds. And then I realised perhaps there is plenty to whinge about. These things always pee'ed me off on excercise. I'm sure you lot could add more

1. If there was a casevac the fattest tw*t in the section got put on the stretcher by the DS
2. Only when you had finished digging your trench did you get bugged out, never just after you had started digging
3. Even though there was a stream 10m from your trench you had to wash from a soapdish and make your water bottle last all excercise
4. If you needed to stay awake you fell asleep and got shouted at
5. If you needed to get to sleep you couldn't
5. If the Boss said it was a dry excercise you would get drunk
6. If you were told there would be a smoker at end ex or the CQ would bring beer out "so no need to bring any beer". You wouldn't see beer until you got back to camp
7. Same with a schnelly run
8. As soon as youfell asleep some f*cker would wake you up for stag
9. And the watch used for stag was always faster than yours.
10. If something good was going to happen I was doing something sh*t somewhere else.

In fact I could think of a lot more too.
(if all this has been said before well FU, I'm old and forgetful now, not that I read it in the first place)
 
#6
On the first half decent semi tac exercise in training I had laid out a near perfect basha, was rooting round in my belt-kit for my mug to compliment my nearly prepared hot wet when a DS appeared with thundie in hand, I paused, he saw me and simply uttered 'fucking carry on!', I was 2 sips into my hot chocolate when he struck the thundie and casually flung it in, fucking bedlam :)
 
#7
14. The fucker on Stag getting the head down getting caught by DS, which caused us to have to move very quickly indeed. Very educational :)
 
#9
Watching the DS rag the most gorgeous woman in the Regiment (and coincidentally his girlfriend) during an E&E ex... And he was merciless!

During the interrogation phase, she said only three words. We creased up and control was lost by the interrogators.

What two words? I hear you ask.

"You're fucking dumped!"

The twat spent his first night back on camp, in his room listening to her getting proper smashed inside out by a PTI in the room next door.

Quality.
 
#10
On the first half decent semi tac exercise in training...
Aahhh... the genius of "Semi-Tac" exercises. I remember us trying to rationalise what it might mean, only to discover that it meant a Khymer Rouge style series of fervent contradictions enabling the DS to bollock you for not patrolling properly, sit you in a hollow square for a lesson, get you to stag on all night, demand a full kit inspection the next morning with everything laid out as if you were in your room rather than a woodblock, do clearance patrols, lepoard-crawl around the perimeter and be attacked by Ghurkas while you were getting back from a log run.

...Properly shit times!
 
#13
Going on stag and then the field telephone clicking. you answer it and one of the guys you just relieved lets you know he has just relieved his sack all over the earpiece you are now holding.
 
#14
Aahhh... the genius of "Semi-Tac" exercises. I remember us trying to rationalise what it might mean, only to discover that it meant a Khymer Rouge style series of fervent contradictions enabling the DS to bollock you for not patrolling properly, sit you in a hollow square for a lesson, get you to stag on all night, demand a full kit inspection the next morning with everything laid out as if you were in your room rather than a woodblock, do clearance patrols, lepoard-crawl around the perimeter and be attacked by Ghurkas while you were getting back from a log run.

...Properly shit times!
Agreed, one minute we were sat playing Kim's game in the sun the next we were hanging out being thrashed in full CEMO for whatever slightly perceived indiscretion they had seen. Mega for less than £150.00 quid a week :)
 
#15
Having left the forces a few years ago I thought I'd come and have a look at your Arrse.

Its full of whinging basterds. And then I realised perhaps there is plenty to whinge about. These things always pee'ed me off on excercise. I'm sure you lot could add more

1. If there was a casevac the fattest tw*t in the section got put on the stretcher by the DS
2. Only when you had finished digging your trench did you get bugged out, never just after you had started digging
3. Even though there was a stream 10m from your trench you had to wash from a soapdish and make your water bottle last all excercise
4. If you needed to stay awake you fell asleep and got shouted at
5. If you needed to get to sleep you couldn't
5. If the Boss said it was a dry excercise you would get drunk
6. If you were told there would be a smoker at end ex or the CQ would bring beer out "so no need to bring any beer". You wouldn't see beer until you got back to camp
7. Same with a schnelly run
8. As soon as youfell asleep some f*cker would wake you up for stag
9. And the watch used for stag was always faster than yours.
10. If something good was going to happen I was doing something sh*t somewhere else.

In fact I could think of a lot more too.


(if all this has been said before well FU, I'm old and forgetful now, not that I read it in the first place)
Good training for life in general and married life in particular!
 
#16
17. The bit of kit you never use is left back in camp then needed for the first time in 20 years on that exercise.

18. Never trust a driver when he says hes got a full tank of fuel

19. If its forcasted to be sunny all week take wet weather kit

20. If the Roadwheels of a tracked vehicle are wet dont presume its an oil leak
 
#18
I could keep my weapon in the bottom of the turret in a winnie mandela all exercise. Smug that its one less job to be done when i got back in. Although every fucking time with out fail i would have to use it on the final attack(or my drivers without him knowing).
 
#19
21. Spending ages laying D10 and then going to your scratcher only to be woken 10 minutes later because the stupid thing broke.

22. CO being a racing snake and you're loaded down with rifle and PRC 320 while he hares off into the distance shouting follow me.
 
#20
Murphy's law on Excercise.


I'd rather you didn't talk about what I got up to on exercise....thank you very much.

However in the interests of the the masses...


Waterproofs aren't

Cold weather gear isn't

Stagging on lasts for days

stand down last for minutes

Junior orifices take it all too seriously (which can be amusing)

Snco's take it all too seriously (which can be scary)
 

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