Murder

#2
I could get away with it, Id publish a book about how I did it aswell. People quite frankly would not beleive im capable of murder, Apart from you who is now in on the plan! I think ive found my victim, Thanks L_J you have been a real help
 
#3
Do not conspire - you do not want to rely on another's opsec.

You will either need detailed info on forensics, to avoid leaving any trace (increasingly difficult), or prepare random contaminant.

Victim selection: if you just want to get away with murder, then you're probably safer with a random stranger (assuming you can stop at just one). If you are eliminating for other reasons, you will need to disguise motive - which could take time.

Opportunity and method: plenty of suggestions in all sorts of whodunnits.

Finally, commit no other offences: you don't want police attention at all. Ever.
 

Sixty

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#4
vampangua said:
Do not conspire - you do not want to rely on another either's opsec.

You will either need detailed info on forensics, to avoid leaving any trace (increasingly difficult), or prepare random contaminant.

Victim selection: if you just want to get away with murder, then you're probably safer with a random stranger (assuming you can stop at just one). If you are eliminating for other reasons, you will need to disguise motive - which could take time.

Opportunity and method: plenty of suggestions in all sorts of whodunnits.

Finally, commit no other offences: you don't want police attention at all. Ever.
Be a famous American ex-sportsman beforehand.
 

Guns

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#5
And you need to get a birth certificate for a dead baby, drive a niffty little sports car and wear a cravat. Helps if you pretend to be gay to get close to your target.
 
#6
Does anyone want a pop at my ex? details on PM Already topped her car up with diesel, its a petrol :) Got a smoke grenade thats going through the window in next few weeks (apparently!!) and so murder is the natural progression.

I'm not bitter. Honest.
 
#7
Sixty said:
vampangua said:
Do not conspire - you do not want to rely on another either's opsec.

You will either need detailed info on forensics, to avoid leaving any trace (increasingly difficult), or prepare random contaminant.

Victim selection: if you just want to get away with murder, then you're probably safer with a random stranger (assuming you can stop at just one). If you are eliminating for other reasons, you will need to disguise motive - which could take time.

Opportunity and method: plenty of suggestions in all sorts of whodunnits.

Finally, commit no other offences: you don't want police attention at all. Ever.
Be a famous American ex-sportsman beforehand.

If the glove fits.........oh wait
 
#10
this has been done before, I will say what I said last time; woodchipper, big river and a good amount of pine to wizz through afterwards to clean it and your done.
 
#11
Get victim drunk in kitchen (theirs) When they fall asleep, put chip pan on lit cooker and exit kitchen. I know this will work because I read it in a "Rebus" novel. :D
 
#13
D0lly86 said:
this has been done before, I will say what I said last time; woodchipper, big river and a good amount of pine to wizz through afterwards to clean it and your done.
It is possible to be done for murder even without a body: so you'll still need a good plan for the abduction stages.
 
#14
johnboyzzz said:
drop them off at a pig farm works for me everytime
Yes we have all seen that film, dont forget to remove hair, teeth, fingernails and toenails.
 
#15
vampangua said:
D0lly86 said:
this has been done before, I will say what I said last time; woodchipper, big river and a good amount of pine to wizz through afterwards to clean it and your done.
It is possible to be done for murder even without a body: so you'll still need a good plan for the abduction stages.
Easy, tell them i like to indulge in a little light bondage, tie them up then fill their veins full of air and wait for the cardiac and pulmonary embolisms to begin.
 
#16
D0lly86 said:
johnboyzzz said:
drop them off at a pig farm works for me everytime
Yes we have all seen that film, dont forget to remove hair, teeth, fingernails and toenails.
Oh, and Errol, put the kettle on. :D
 

TheIronDuke

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Book Reviewer
#18
Sit down with a nice cup of Mu tea and work through your issues. This has always worked for me and I have never had to resort to murder or torching peoples pets. Or their fucking Mum. And my electric drills are strictly for woodwork. I wish to make that clear. Woodwork, all right?
 
#19
I propose one James Gordon Brown (born 20 February 1951), First Lord of The Treasury. I would 'do' him on live TV (freeview, if possible), crying out 'Traitor!! Foul traitor!'.

There is'nt a jury in the land that would convict.

...........except that I might get a fixed penalty for OTT acting *shrug*
 
#20
vampangua said:
You will either need detailed info on forensics, to avoid leaving any trace (increasingly difficult), or prepare random contaminant.
.
Have a plan for disposing of the body preferably away from the victims property (No blood in their house). Leave your mobile phone at home that day The North sea is fairly large, Stab the body a few times so that there are no gas build up because you don't want it floating back to the top again. You can try removing the teeth but apparently its quite hard and if you are confident the body wont be found whats the point? Burn all clothing you were wearing when you did the deed and when you disposed of the body. Wipe yourself down with bleach before showering. Do not visit the scene of the crime unless it is in the normal daily rountine to go there.
 

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