Mums make porn

#42
What pray is "Mum-approved porn?"

Do they have to keep their coats on in case they catch a chill?

When it's over is there a hot cup of tea on the bedside table?

Is interracial or lesbian porn out of the question? (It would be with my Mum)
Mum approved porn is :
Midnight
Lights off
Eyes tightly shut
A slight lifting of the nighty
No appreciative noises
Definitely think of England
if of course any of that filthy stuff is permitted to take place.
 
#43
Mum approved porn is :
Midnight
Lights off
Eyes tightly shut
A slight lifting of the nighty
No appreciative noises
Definitely think of England
if of course any of that filthy stuff is permitted to take place.
You’ve been keeking through my bedroom window
 
#45
Women just don't get off the same way though. remember the whole Twilight thing which was basically cinemas filled with deep breathing middle aged women? It was mum porn. A filthy rich man who looks good forever and doesn't eat so you don't spend your life doing the washing up.
 
#46
Women just don't get off the same way though. remember the whole Twilight thing which was basically cinemas filled with deep breathing middle aged women? It was mum porn. A filthy rich man who looks good forever and doesn't eat so you don't spend your life doing the washing up.
What?
Are you telling me females don't fuck?
 
#48
Whilst C4 never got around to bringing the warning triangle back, they have decided at least to make their own MILF porn (all in the best possible taste as the late great Kenny Everett would say)






What's the bets on how the MILF porn will turn out?
/\This is why I no longer watch television.

It's made by idiots for idiots
 
#49
Princess Productions still in business then?

What next, Begum's Kosher Bacon Butty challenge, diseased wombed terrorist bint Shamima Begum challenges a group of Ultra Orthodox Israeli settlers to cook her the ultimate bacon sarnie.
Islamophobic anti semite walt
 
#50
What?
Are you telling me females don't ****?
Oh I believe mums do (I don't but that is because the only offers I get are from people under 30, people who need to roll a 20 sided dice to decide what to do next, people who drink in Portsmouth and Belgians so I am obviously not going to agree to any of those). What turns mums on in the same way porn does men on the other hand... totally different question.

Frankly even the one man who actually does it for me (who is actually nothing like Ben Affleck which also worries me) in my fantasies spends a lot of time gagged, not for bondage reasons, just because even intruding on my fantasies these days someone is asking "what time is dinner?" and "have you remembered to sort things out for tomorrow?", and adding the gag stops that happening.
 
#51
The correct term is penis beaker, as you would know if you ever visited the site that must never be mentioned
Dear God. Rinsing when, before, after, during? Is it acceptable to pop one's teeth into said beaker? I need to know.
 
#53
You’ve been keeking through my bedroom window
Do I have to Google that to find out that it is another strange sexual practice that I'd never heard of?
 
#54
i am wasting my time here, i want a job where i pitch tv shows to producers.

i dont care what the pay is, it'd be worthwhile just to get to sit in the meeting where you look someone in the eye and say;

"'mums make porn', four women from the WRI trade their knitting needles for dildoes and go on a voyage of self discovery in order to save the youth of today"
 

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
#56
1552476246715.png

Niche...
 
#57
i am wasting my time here, i want a job where i pitch tv shows to producers.

i dont care what the pay is, it'd be worthwhile just to get to sit in the meeting where you look someone in the eye and say;

"'mums make porn', four women from the WRI trade their knitting needles for dildoes and go on a voyage of self discovery in order to save the youth of today"
It's not as easy as you think, my suggestion to the local WI for a nude calendar shoot hasn't been taken up yet, I mean really you offer to help from the kindness of your heart and get rebuffed
 
#60
It's not as easy as you think, my suggestion to the local WI for a nude calendar shoot hasn't been taken up yet, I mean really you offer to help from the kindness of your heart and get rebuffed
it does make the old Alan Partridge scene seem pretty believable, these meetings must be no more than a constant free stream of consciousness from people off their tits on expensive coffee and pilates induced endorphins.
 
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