Inspired by recent attacks in Mumbai, Islamic extremists have turned their militant eye upon Bradford, and are hunting down anyone with a British passport. The police are on standby, but so far the terrorists are stumped.
I signed upto Sky the other day to watch the cricket in a couple of weeks, imagine my sadness to find it's now been cancelled! To add insult to injury, when I rang upto complain, no-one picked up the phone!
I have just got back home after three hours in the company of a Injun and a Paki. As you can imagine the jokes were not forthcoming. They did agree on one thing though, "It's all the fault of the British"
Man walks into the exclusive restuarant of a 5 star hotel in Mumbai, and askes the maitre " Do you have a chicken tarka?" After some polite headwobbling, the maitre, a local of course, says " I'm very sorry Sahib, but I don't know what a chicken tarka is". The man took a sip from the magic lassi on the table and said " It's like a chicken tikka, only otter". Then the shooting started.