Mum sayings

#1
Don't know if its been done, but who cares eh???

The stuff like, go and get something for me to hit you with.
or, if you fall and brake your legs don't come running to me

My favourite has always been..


Go to the shop (when we had corner shops) (that's the shops on the end of the street for you young uns) and get 5LB of potatoes, but don't get any big ones as they will be to heavy for you to carry.

I'm sure there are a few more 'mum gems' out there
 
#3
'It's NOT new, it's NOT funny, it's ALL been done before, now STOP IT'!

That was the only phrase that could actually stop me trying to set fire to the garage.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#4
'Wake me up again I'll kill you' as she picked my pissed up brother up by the throat, cornered him in the pantry and squashed a can of baked beans with her spare hand.
Then he was her favourite son, can't recall why she hit him with the poker.
 
#5
'Wake me up again I'll kill you' as she picked my pissed up brother up by the throat, cornered him in the pantry and squashed a can of baked beans with her spare hand.
Then he was her favourite son, can't recall why she hit him with the poker.
Ah, memories. . .
 
#6
I'm not disappointed, I'm just fucking angry.
 
#11
Mum's mum saying really!
gran was babysitting me and brother, and my brother was a shit of the first water,nan struck out with an aluminium saucepan and left a imprint of his head in the sossy, mam come home and said how were they? "good as gold" said my nan as my bro still lay unconscious,
well it was in the fifties!! you were allowed to knock fuck out of kids then.
 
#13
"Well, I'll go to the top of our stairs."

Said as a kind of exclamation. Will you Ma? And what do you expect to find? And more importantly, how, given we live in a Bungalow?

Mums. Full of shite.
 
#14
"Have you washed your hands before dinner PigGunner? Show me. Now go back and have another go, and this time try soap!"

Not really me mum. That was Mrs PG 5mins ago.
 
#15
When I was about 15 I guess.........That girl (that's still how all my women are referred to) better not be pregnant, I have my reputation to think about.

She was a teacher at the local girls school and when rumour went round that my GF was pregnant the old witch was more concerned for what people may say than the issues facing a couple of youngsters in trouble.
 
#16
"Its your fault your dad left!"

Nowadays: "can I borrow 50 quid please, son?"

There were old classics of course but my mum liked to embarass you out in the street and would stop in the middle of the shopping centre, peer down into your face and say: "did you brush your teeth this morning? You stink!"
 
#18
"Trendy", my mum always says that, to which us kids/teens would either cringe or snort with laughter ddepending on company at the time.
Fucking trendy I ask you. "ooh Tricky1982 that T-shirt is a bit trendy!"
Also "I'm telling your father when he gets in" which usually meant I was in the shit & a terrifying bollocking from the old man was on the cards
 
#19
Mum's mum saying really!
gran was babysitting me and brother, and my brother was a shit of the first water,nan struck out with an aluminium saucepan and left a imprint of his head in the sossy, mam come home and said how were they? "good as gold" said my nan as my bro still lay unconscious,
well it was in the fifties!! you were allowed to knock fuck out of kids then.
Greater love hath no gran than this, that she lay down her aluminium pan upon her grandson's head.
 
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