Mum sayings

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by zulusix, Mar 23, 2013.

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  1. Don't know if its been done, but who cares eh???

    The stuff like, go and get something for me to hit you with.
    or, if you fall and brake your legs don't come running to me

    My favourite has always been..

    Go to the shop (when we had corner shops) (that's the shops on the end of the street for you young uns) and get 5LB of potatoes, but don't get any big ones as they will be to heavy for you to carry.

    I'm sure there are a few more 'mum gems' out there
  2. "Just you be careful swimming in the river. If you come home drowned, I'll kill you."
  3. 'It's NOT new, it's NOT funny, it's ALL been done before, now STOP IT'!

    That was the only phrase that could actually stop me trying to set fire to the garage.
  4. 'Wake me up again I'll kill you' as she picked my pissed up brother up by the throat, cornered him in the pantry and squashed a can of baked beans with her spare hand.
    Then he was her favourite son, can't recall why she hit him with the poker.
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  5. Ah, memories. . .
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  6. I'm not disappointed, I'm just fucking angry.
  7. The fucker used to come in pissed chuck meat on the grill, fall asleep, get battered by my mother.
  8. ,deep fried and served with chips.
  9. "If you don't stop playing with it, it's going to fall off and if it doesn't fall off then i'll cut it off"
  10. Mum's mum saying really!
    gran was babysitting me and brother, and my brother was a shit of the first water,nan struck out with an aluminium saucepan and left a imprint of his head in the sossy, mam come home and said how were they? "good as gold" said my nan as my bro still lay unconscious,
    well it was in the fifties!! you were allowed to knock fuck out of kids then.
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  11. When I was 5, I told my mum I'd had an accident. I'll never forget her kind response.

    "I had an accident once. Now it pisses all over itself."
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  12. "Well, I'll go to the top of our stairs."

    Said as a kind of exclamation. Will you Ma? And what do you expect to find? And more importantly, how, given we live in a Bungalow?

    Mums. Full of shite.
  13. "Have you washed your hands before dinner PigGunner? Show me. Now go back and have another go, and this time try soap!"

    Not really me mum. That was Mrs PG 5mins ago.
  14. When I was about 15 I guess.........That girl (that's still how all my women are referred to) better not be pregnant, I have my reputation to think about.

    She was a teacher at the local girls school and when rumour went round that my GF was pregnant the old witch was more concerned for what people may say than the issues facing a couple of youngsters in trouble.
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