Mum....Dad....This is Reni....

#1
Had an interesting pint with Ms Reni's Dad last night, he reliably informed me that in the first 24 hours of meeting him and his wife I had (A) Broken the bathroom mirror, (B) Called his daughter a "f*cking mong" in front of him, (C) Let his mongoloid Jack Russell out of the front door and onto the main road and (D) Had a sleepy midnight wander around his house, starkers (minus a rollmatt :D ) and up to the eyeballs in Bushmills....Suffice to say it took a few months of exemplary behaviour to bring him round....

Couple this with getting caught p*ssing in an antique vase at her best friends university graduation party, proclaiming a bit too loudly that "gourmet food is hoofing!" at her cousins wedding dinner and discreetly popping one b*llock out the side of my shorts for a rugby photo that ended up in the local paper made me an altogether unlikely prospect for their little girl !

Give us your tales of shame committed in front of your other halfs family and friends !

(It cant just be me :oops: )
 
#2
New Years eve went out all day and night as you do with the then to be wife (now ex wife ).Ended up waking up in the spare room (in the future inlaws ) was not sure why went in to see the fiance who told me to turn round so I did and she screamed at me to get out and go an look in the landing.
To my horror it was covered in sh!t every were up the walls the lot! I said it was the dog till saw my back side that looked like something of a cam and concellment lesson (to much!).
So I was there for hours cleaning it and trying to explain to my future inlaws that I did not mind cleaning up there dogs mess!
All in all a good night !
 
#3
:clap: Excellent ! Thats the spirit, a lad I joined up with walked into his new squeezes house to meet the family and came face to face to with a bloke he'd been rolling round the local pub floor with the night before, her brother ! Best pals now apparently ?!
 
S

swampmonster

Guest
#4
reni_77 said:
Had an interesting pint with Ms Reni's Dad last night, he reliably informed me that in the first 24 hours of meeting him and his wife I had (A) Broken the bathroom mirror, (B) Called his daughter a "f*cking mong" in front of him, (C) Let his mongoloid Jack Russell out of the front door and onto the main road and (D) Had a sleepy midnight wander around his house, starkers (minus a rollmatt :D ) and up to the eyeballs in Bushmills....Suffice to say it took a few months of exemplary behaviour to bring him round....

Couple this with getting caught p*ssing in an antique vase at her best friends university graduation party, proclaiming a bit too loudly that "gourmet food is hoofing!" at her cousins wedding dinner and discreetly popping one b*llock out the side of my shorts for a rugby photo that ended up in the local paper made me an altogether unlikely prospect for their little girl !

Give us your tales of shame committed in front of your other halfs family and friends !

(It cant just be me :oops: )

Good drills...I was caught "on the job" with my Ex-bird by here mother who had come to take her down to the living room for a suprise birthday party...C@nts never told me..and spoilt me shag to boot....When she did come down there was a lot of "looking at corners" when we walked in later... :wink:

Anyway..I had a great night got wankered and started singing some very rude songs... 8)
 
#5
Hid meself away in the boot of the motor and grandslammed, only to be driven home by the missus with her brother and my sister in law in the car....D'oh.
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
Bloke to me the other week (I don't think he's cheggarsRE though)
Did you know xxxxxx xxxxx when you was in then
Did I right goer bit of a slag though why do you ask
She's my sister
Reeeeeeally
Look is that a plane? :oops:
 
#10
Got sheeiters at a BBQ thrown by the Doris's family 3 summers ago. Arguing with her Uncle, her Mum, and telling the Doris to Shud da fuk up in front of the gathered throng... I then went to the bog for a slash and woke up, 3 hours later in the spare room, under boxes, and other stuff having swamped myself and surrounding area...

Get married in August, which is nice!
 
#13
cheggarsRE said:
shafted mates mum, got up in morning and we went downstairs to find her daughter doing my sister!! (Should i be aroused???)
Tremendous ! Went to Ballymena in 2000 to visit a pal, woke up top and tailing and fully clothed with his other half, she then caught him creeping out of her mums room at the crack of dawn whilst on her way for a piss, the most uncomfortable weetabix I ever ate !!!!
 
#14
Meeting my mother in law for the first time was an experience, at the age of 45 and after 25 years of marriage & 4 kids.... she decided to become a fully fledge member of the bean flicking brigade.

I remember making small talk with her "partner" (Pat Butcher lookie likey) when she offered me a Viennese finger 8O needless to say I choked on my tea, until I saw the tray of wafer biscuits in her hand.

I tried my hardest (for Mr. Caits sake) to remain open minded, PC, liberal... but all I could think of asking was which one licked the prawns head??!
 
#15
Got completely spazzed ant my sister in law's wedding and barfed on my grandmother-in-law's lap during dinner. The wedding vidoe still shows the bride and groom enjoying their first dance while I am standing in the corner trying to look contrite while my father in law bawls me out in the background.

We laugh about it now
 
#16
Fell asleep stark bollock naked half in and half out of the exs mum patio doors. It had being a long day on the lash!
 
#17
cheggarsRE said:
shafted mates mum, got up in morning and we went downstairs to find her daughter doing my sister!! (Should i be aroused???)
Cheggars, you're not from Norfolk are you?

Answered my mobile, thinking it was my wife ringing me, with the greeting "Hello fcuk-face". All I could hear was my mother-in-law in fits of laughter on the other end.
 
#18
At christmas dinner a few years back, father in law asked if i wanted a leg, to which i replied, "no thanks, i'm more of a breast man!"

Needless to say everyone went silent and i went bright red!!!
 
#19
Got sh*t faced at a new years do and fell asleep in the street, my missus and a neighbour came out to lift me into the house. Being dragged with an arm over each girl i started to fall and grabbed the front of my neighbours dressing gown as i tumbled. :oops:

Said gown ripped open and i managed to rip her nice silky nightie straight off her as i fell. I was on the floor looking up at my neighbours glory opened wide as she stood naked in the street. She was feckin gorgious as well which altogether rounded off a great night. It was nice to buy her a nice lacy baby doll nightie as a replacement and for years i imagined her in it. :twisted:

She got over the initial shock as i was of course drunk and not responsible for my actions and became quite the flirt too, and made several inuendos of how she liked the lacy nightwear i bought her. Think her fella was a bit miffed though. :lol:
 
#20
Staggered home after one of my first trips into town with the older boys and decided to visit an old flame, got to her place and its dressed up front to back in scaffolding, spotted her light on so quickly jumped on the first few rungs, was climbing at a steady pace a'la the f*cking milk tray man and reached the set of steel just below her window, leaned forward slightly to grab the last pole that could have possibly taken me to a night of pleasure and missed the sod completely, fell hard and fast, cue 1 x broken cheekbone, a cut on my head that resembled a clown smiling and whilst on the floor being tended to by her parents and sniggering brother I did a little wee in my pants !!
 
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