Multifunctional Kit

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
and selling deep-fried goods only goes to give me more fuel to burn to make nice smells to entice more fools customers to buy my food
Before frying do you wipe the fish on the Frankie mags ?
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Right, will be coming your way as soon as the MASTURBATION SUPPORT WEAPON BELT FED PORN MAG is in circulation
GS MAN PORTABLE BELT FED PORN MAG MASTURBATION SUPPORT WEAPON - L1A1 MK1 - soldier single mans self pleasure don't forget the NSN.
 
GS MAN PORTABLE BELT FED PORN MAG MASTURBATION SUPPORT WEAPON - L1A1 MK1 - soldier single mans self pleasure don't forget the NSN.
it'll start out with

6969-12-

for those who can't remember 99 was UK code, so obviously we'll be wanting one that's German, hence 12
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
has anyone checked with the OP to see how the thread is progressing vs his/her expectations?
 
Hmm... Like the 58 pattern poncho that had studs to clip on the bottom of the sleeping bag to make a bivi? I think someone thought of that in 1958 and forgot to tell anyone.
Yes but both were as waterproof as the Titanic, also the standard ‘old’ pattern dossbag came in two sizes that I recall , normal for men under 5 foot six and large for those over 6 feet.

Scaling was something like 95% normal 5% large.

You needed to be a mate with SQMS to get a large one that you could fit into.
 
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If you could take something like the biolite stove, squaddie proof it to make it work with issue fuel, build it round a water boling vessel a little like a kelly kettle , add in a decent powerbank that could do some radio kit and have add-ons of a solar panel or wind/water turbine, you might be on to something.

MOD will never buy it though.

 
If you could take something like the biolite stove, squaddie proof it to make it work with issue fuel, build it round a water boling vessel a little like a kelly kettle , add in a decent powerbank that could do some radio kit and have add-ons of a solar panel or wind/water turbine, you might be on to something.

MOD will never buy it though.

Sounds like a good idea might have more of a look into that.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
has anyone checked with the OP to see how the thread is progressing vs his/her expectations?
that will be for the export variant with butt plug attachment and reach around strap.
 
If you could take something like the biolite stove, squaddie proof it to make it work with issue fuel, build it round a water boling vessel a little like a kelly kettle , add in a decent powerbank that could do some radio kit and have add-ons of a solar panel or wind/water turbine, you might be on to something.

MOD will never buy it though.


"squaddie-proofing " to the MoD means taking an off the shelf item, encasing it in steel with jagged bits that catch on everything, making it weigh as much as a landrover, calling it 'man-portable' and then paying an obscene amount for it.
anything battery-powered must take an unusual size and shape of battery, or require 47 AA batteries that will last 17.5 minutes. Changing the batteries should take 18 minutes, and involve dismantling the item.
Charging an item must require something at least landrover sized.
Training for said item must be a three-week course, condensed into a week, half of which will be spent skiving off early after falling asleep listening to people read a Powerpoint presentation to you that you could have read from the screen yourself.

I have definitely pointed this out before on here.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
make sure the cleaning kits are available.
 

Mattb

LE
"squaddie-proofing " to the MoD means taking an off the shelf item, encasing it in steel with jagged bits that catch on everything, making it weigh as much as a landrover, calling it 'man-portable' and then paying an obscene amount for it.
anything battery-powered must take an unusual size and shape of battery, or require 47 AA batteries that will last 17.5 minutes. Changing the batteries should take 18 minutes, and involve dismantling the item.
Charging an item must require something at least landrover sized.
Training for said item must be a three-week course, condensed into a week, half of which will be spent skiving off early after falling asleep listening to people read a Powerpoint presentation to you that you could have read from the screen yourself.

I have definitely pointed this out before on here.
I think that you forgot "incredibly easy to break and/or lose something" during the dismantling bit, but otherwise bang on.
 
I think that you forgot "incredibly easy to break and/or lose something" during the dismantling bit, but otherwise bang on.
the chargeable amount for any lost/damaged item must be three times (minimum) it's actual worth in civi street.
The heavier the item the more fragile it actually is and more likely it is to be broken by light impact.
Bonus points for parts that fly off when dismantling, even bigger bonus if not only can it fly off, but it can injure someone as well as being lost.
small items must be a very dark colour to aid loss at night/in woods.

Instructions on use, care and cleaning of any item must contradict what a store-person or military SME will want

The operational temperature range for any item will be based on an average autumn day in a London park and it's use be based on a light picnic in the same park. (near the duck pond, but not too close to the public loos)

Dust/sand must kill it completely (I'm looking at you AS 90)

The servicing schedule must be complicated and three times as often as is actually needed
 
Any issues with the newish virtus body armour/helmet?

serious post,

if you can make any item of PPE one (or more) of the following;

lighter
stronger
more comfortable
cooler
thinner

with a Brucie bonus for being able to claim its

Environmentally friendly
or
Vegan

without making it

heavier
weaker
less comfortable
hotter
bulkier

then you'll be onto a winner.
 

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