mr vice

#1
i have a problem i am going to a mess night and i have been told that i am doing Mr Vice HELP i need some funny stuff so i can entertain the guests
 
#2
comedy red nose for a start - trousers too short, one green & one yellow sock. If it doesn't work then at lreast you know you'll be looking for a new posting in the morning!
 
#3
go as your avatar.
 
#4
Don't worry. As Mr Vice it shouldn't be you entertaining the guests. They'll have plenty to laugh about as you get royally stitched up and fluff any toasts you have to give.
 
#5
Fishnets with a red stripe in lieu of trousers. Obviously, change into them while at the table.
 
#7
I had food poisoning from the day befores food at the ranges, the projectile vomiting started after the toasts, luckily i managed to leg it out of the dining room first, chased by the SSM shouting 'how dare you get pished at my regt dinner', I hadnt had a single drink, I had a bit of stomach ache right up to the vom.

Great Mr Vice that was!
 
#9
Refer to the Duke Of Edinbourgh at the toast as nick the greek, I did went down a storm
 
#10
welshwizaed said:
i have a problem i am going to a mess night and i have been told that i am doing Mr Vice HELP i need some funny stuff so i can entertain the guests
There has been a post on the Seniors board about this, let me have a look............ ahhh hah, found it! Here you go, not sure if it helps:

Mr Vice Ideas

Ice :)
 
#12
thanks for all of them great ideas does anyone have an idea of any thing i can do without getting in the sh1t.
(i liked the vomit one i p1ssed myself laughing)
 
#14
Doesn't matter what you do, you will get loads. Practice all the jokes you like, but you will be getting heckled by serious proffesionals. Enjoy the night, it might be a long time before you get fed straight after the RSM.
 

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