mr vice

Discussion in 'REME' started by rentboy, Feb 16, 2006.

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  1. Im new to the mess and might get pinged for Mr Vice soon, can anybody give me the basic sitrep and any good gags / jokes

  2. My first time as Mr Vice in the mess was a disaster. I asked the others what to do. They told me to write the sequence down and when I took my place at the table to place it in front of me. It stayed there all through the meal and just as it came to me doing my bit the barstewards pinched it. I made such a hash of it I got 4 extra duties. So be warned. Congratulations.
  3. I've got the admin side squared away (i.e. kit going diffy) Thats going to happen no matter what. I could do with some mischevious ideas!!
  4. There was a recent thread concerning Mess Graces. That might be useful to you.

    as for mischevious ideas....I am sure you will come up with something. Whatever it is, it will have been done before, but enjoy anyway.

  5. Have a look on the seniors forum there are a few threads there. Just make sure that your grace is ok and that you know when to do your bit and you'll be fine. Congrats
  6. Congratulations on your promotion, welcome to the most exclusive club in the world.

    Get the PMC to have a look at your grace list before the event
    (you may stll get a fine tho, it depends on his sense of humour)
    Try and have a few currently trendy jokes or quips in mind,
    dont be too rude if women are at the table and definitely
    no racist remarks or racist/non pc jokes (however funny you may think they are)
    beware of pickpockets and theives.
    most of all, enjoy it!

  7. met an RAOC WO once in 5 Brigade who was wound up that he had to wear a plant pot on his head for the dinner; got himself 'five' good ones for 'wearing headress in the Mess'; stag on, we have all been there (except the toshers who think the job above them).
  8. Only be new to the Mess myself I don't want to seem like a bitching Nig but this seems wrong to me. On the day I was promoted there was a top table lunch for which I was spammed (No pun intended) with Mr Vice, having had no time at all to prep I naturally ballsed it up for which I recieved a port fine (as expected). I then spent the afternoon having 'what goes on in the mess, stays in the mess' drilled in to me by crusty old .... sorry the older highly 'supportive of the mess' members this is all well and good and I wholeheartedly agree with it but If you can be given extra's for screwing up mess etiquette how is this keeping it 'in the mess'
  9. Fair point about the extras it should have been a port fine or a work task in the mess. Strange that people would lecture you about what happens in the mess stays in the mess. Are you a tech?

  10. 1.What happens in the mess should stay in the mess.
    2.Should try our place what happens in the mess results in Reg'l duties.
    3.So much for the first comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  11. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    Get on the right side of the PMC. When it comes to appointing Mr Vice for a do, he might just lose sight of the fact that you're in the zone and he'll choose someone else.

    Worked for me, every time. To that point that in the run-up to a do the PMC asked me something to do with Mr Vice and when I pointed out that I was actually the juniorest, he brushed the idea away.

    (Slopes off in search of something to wipe the brown off his nose.)
  12. Just remember the Commander in Chief is "Phil the Greek" and at grace say "...we thankyou Lord for what we're about to re.... etc etc" and you may keep it down to 4 bottles of port :wink:
  13. Remember Mr Vice is Vice president of the Mess get drunk have a laugh and take the fines like a decent bloke
  14. DONT do the toast whilst you've got a pint pot in your hand. I know it sounds obvious, but thats the beauty of hindsight I guess.
  15. Tech_Spanker said:

    Just remember the Commander in Chief is "Phil the Greek"

    Phil the Greek is our "Colonel in Chief"

    We are in the British Army and our "Commander in Chief" is ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................George W Bush.