Mr Snail

#1
That w anker won't let me see my dog over Christmas.

Many buckets cried and many miles driven.

How shall I kill him?
 
#3
I would love to have a dog at Christmas, but I'm usually too pissed on Christmas eve to pull anything in the pub. :D

You could always cut his bollocks off with a bayonet, but if you want to do it properly don't use one from an SA 80!
 
#5
The Lord Flasheart said:
He probably decided that you were dumbing the poor dog down. And I'll wager it's hygene habits are preferable too. :p
Just shut up and get my dog. There's a good chap.
 
#6
Dale the snail said:
That w anker won't let me see my dog over Christmas.......

How shall I kill him?
Show him the stumpy pic & tell him that if he doesn't hand the dog over, you'll give me his address ;)

Or you could poison the water supply for his area.....sometimes the ends DO justify the means :twisted:
 
#8
papa_lazaroo said:
Little Jack H said:
Or you could poison the water supply for his area.....sometimes the ends DO justify the means :twisted:

bit extreme isn't it?
Maybe, Papa, but a happy Slug means less aggro for everyone, so the sacrifice would be worth it. Especially since his water supply is so far from mine :D
 
#9
Little Jack H said:
papa_lazaroo said:
Little Jack H said:
Or you could poison the water supply for his area.....sometimes the ends DO justify the means :twisted:

bit extreme isn't it?
Maybe, Papa, but a happy Slug means less aggro for everyone, so the sacrifice would be worth it. Especially since his water supply is so far from mine :D
who cares about that? we all have block buttons. :D
 
#11
Jack H, papa, the RSPCA have actually got a court order out on Dale.
It reads as follows;
'Dale the Snale should under no circumstances own any creature more complex than a small bacteria found down her big pants. If she is found to own any creature more complex, she will be in danger of defying Darwins theory of evolution. In that, it is possible that she could reverse evolution as we know it'.
Just the messanger you understand. :wink:

Dale, I am acting in the best interests of the Kennel Club, humanity and the furtherment of the animal kingdom.
 
#12
point taken, Flashy. Can I just add the dog to my list of conquests, then? Surely the most humane solution all round...... :lol:
 
#13
Dale the snail said:
That w anker won't let me see my dog over Christmas.
Don't beleive all you hear about a dog being for life and not just for Christmas. I tried it last year and only made a Corgi last to mid January - wasn't even as tasty as turkey.
 
#14
He has to let it out some time. Just lay in wait.




or, you could come see my Dog.
 
#15
Buy a bigger dog, let it eat your old dog, now you have a better dog due to natural selection and survival of the fittest. :twisted:
 
#16
Why has he got the dog...... if it's yours?? :cry:

Think of the poor dogs feelings! You only want him during the holiday periods.

Did you get to keep the pussy? :?
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#17
So, another lonely Christmas without your dog :cry: . Crying by the Xmas tree :cry: . Staring at the gift wrapped tin of 'Chappie' and unopened box of 'Bonio' :cry: . Watching the Walt Disney movies alone, occasionally glancing towards the window, wondering what he's doing now :cry: . Cooking your LIDL Xmas dinner for one :cry: . Waiting for the phone to ring :cry: .

Never mind. The RSPCA don't put them to sleep for at least a fortnight. :twisted:
 
#18
Biscuits_AB said:
So, another lonely Christmas without your dog :cry: . Crying by the Xmas tree :cry: . Staring at the gift wrapped tin of 'Chappie' and unopened box of 'Bonio' :cry: . Watching the Walt Disney movies alone, occasionally glancing towards the window, wondering what he's doing now :cry: . Cooking your LIDL Xmas dinner for one :cry: . Waiting for the phone to ring :cry: .

Never mind. The RSPCA don't put them to sleep for at least a fortnight. :twisted:
Biscuits, you are really not helping.. :roll:
 
#19
bernoulli said:
Biscuits_AB said:
So, another lonely Christmas without your dog :cry: . Crying by the Xmas tree :cry: . Staring at the gift wrapped tin of 'Chappie' and unopened box of 'Bonio' :cry: . Watching the Walt Disney movies alone, occasionally glancing towards the window, wondering what he's doing now :cry: . Cooking your LIDL Xmas dinner for one :cry: . Waiting for the phone to ring :cry: .

Never mind. The RSPCA don't put them to sleep for at least a fortnight. :twisted:
Biscuits, you are really not helping.. :roll:
no, but he is entertining! :lol:
 
#20
Gimme the w anker's address - I'll go round with MY dog, dognap YOUR dog, take good care of him/her, let him/her be playmate for MY dog (who, by the way, I shall be seeing over Christmas) and I'll let you come visit your OLD dog who will then be MY dog at least twice a year.
 

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