Mr Angry

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by RTFQ, Aug 11, 2005.

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  1. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    I'm not allowed to swear in the office, a bunch of civvy splitarrses are outside having a smoke, so I can't go out there to swear. I need to let off some steam somehow so I've come here. Please ignore it.

    I've just lost AN ENTIRE SHAGGING MORNING'S WORK! I LOST AN ENTIRE CUNTING MORNING'S WORK BECAUSE THE WANKY FUCKZOID CIVVY CUNTSACKS AT THE MOD DECIDE THAT THEY'LL LET US GET BY WITH SHITING COMPUTERS MADE BY CUNTING MACEDONIAN CHILDREN OUT OF SHAGGING COKE CANS AND BOG BRUSHES. JESUS TITTY SHAFTING CHRIST! I JUST WASTED HOURS OF MY LIFE WRITING NONSENSE PAPERWORK TO PERPETUATE THE FRANKLY ASTOUNDING MYTH THAT I BELONG TO A PROFESSIONAL ORGANISATION THAT IS NOT HAMSTRUNG BY TUTTING AND HAND-WRINGING UNTERMENSCH IN SUITS. THESE ARE HOURS THAT I WILL NOT GET BACK, WHEN I LIE ON MY DEATH BED I WILL NOT REMEMBER THE HOURS SPENT WATCHING SUNSETS WITH THE WOMEN I'VE LOVED, I WILL NOT REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I FELT COMPLETE AND UTTER PRIDE IN MYSELF FOR ACHIEVING SOMETHING I THOUGHT WAS BEYOND ME, I WILL NOT REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I LAID EYES ON ANY CHILDREN I MAY HAVE, INSH'ALLAH. NO, I WILL REMEMBER THE ARRSE SHAFTING 4 HOURS I SPENT WASTING MY INTELLIGENCE, FLAIR, WIT AND STYLE ON A MIND-FISTINGLY DULL PIECE OF ENGINEERING SMEGMA WRITTEN FOR FUCKWITS WITH MORE LETTERS BEHIND THEIR NAME THAN ORGANIC CELLS BETWEEN THEIR EARS. FUUUUUUUUCK!
    I LOST THAT INSULT TO CREATIVITY AND HUMAN SPIRIT BECAUSE OF CD SAFETY CASE PRODUCED BY A BUNCH OF PARASYTIC AMOEBA WHO CALL THEMSELVES PRAXIS CRASHED MY STSTEM. YES I NAME YOU, YOU BLOOD SUCKING HONOUR-BEREFT VULTURES. YOU CREATED SUCH AN ABORTION OF AN ELECTRONIC SAFETY MANAGEMENT SYSTEM THAT IT TOOK ALL THE CUNTING PROCESSOR POWER IN MY CUNTPUTER JUST TO DECYPHER IT. DID YOU WRITE THE CODE IN NAVAJO YOU SPUNKSUCKING SCUM? PAY YOU WELL DID WE? THIS ORGANISTAION LET'S YOUR FRIGGING UGLY, WASTREL CHILDREN SLEEP AT NIGHT AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS PROVIDE THIRD RATE PRODUCT FOR OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF MONEY. TRAITORS. I CUNTING WELL SPIT ON YOUR GRAVES YOU COCk-A-ROACHES.
    THEN I GO STRAIGHT TO OUR IT SUPPORT CELL. SUPPORT? DON'T MAKE ME SOIL MYSELF. DO WE PAY YOU A CUNTING WAGE TO SUCK YOUR TEETH AND GO BACK TO PLAYING SOLITAIRE YOU IMAGINELESS NOB VAMPIRES? WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING AN AUTOSAVE FACULTY IF YOU FLEAS CAN'T RETRIEVE MY WORK? NO! NO! DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAVED IT TO MY DESKTOP BECAUSE I WILL SKULL HUMP YOU, YOU CIVVY CUNTFLAP. AND YOU, THINK IT'S FUNNY I'M ANGRY DO YOU YOU SNIGGERING JOBBIE OF A HUMAN BEING. YOU FRIGGING WELL CHOSE TO DO THIS AFTER UNI? YOUR ASPIRATIONS LEAD YOU AS FAR AS A NON-DESCRIPT MOD AGENCY? SCREW YOU, YOU'RE MY AGE BUT I COULD CHECK OUT TOMORROW AND I WILL HAVE SEEN DONE AND EXPERIENCED MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL IN ANOTHER 70 YEARS OF MIND-MINCINGLY DULL, FAT-WIFE DISFUNCTIONAL-KID PUMP-CAR EXISTENCE.

    I FRIGGING SHITE YOU.

    Wow, that's better. Thanks.
     
  2. Mods can you delete this :D :D :D
     
  3. Dirt_Diver

    Dirt_Diver LE Moderator

    nice to see the pressure of work hasn't got to you, much.
     
  4. your welcome :wink:
     
  5. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    And that's just his love letter to the mad bird who he shagged prior to a Sarajevo deployment who thouight he loved her (yes, I know the one!)

    To think what you might say if ever you were truely upset!
     
  6. Sounds like you've got issues, mate.

    Perhaps we need to convene a special 'Anger in the Workplace Focus Meeting' to explore the rationale behind your rage?

    We can do it in a virtual 'Meetingspace' online if you like? :D
     
  7. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    Oh what a load of inhuman nonsense. The best way to sort office problems would be to authorise people to offer-out anyone they so wanted, then the rest of the office crowd round outside chanting "Fight! Fight!" while you smash your "Enabling Management Assistant" across his face with an epsom stylus.
     
  8. & I thought I'd let rip in quite an impressive style in an MSN convo yesterday, but RTFQ, as ever, shows us how it's done... :D
     
  9. I can hit someone if it'll make you feel better, I'll pop down the High Street and welly someone at random, they don't have to know why. :D
     
  10. sounds like my IT bods mate ... stock in trade answers include

    "try logging out and logging in again" .... done that Dumbass

    "turn your machine right off " ..... Done that dumbass

    "er ... i'll have to escalate it to (insert another team here)"

    why bother you geeky f*cking nerdy c*nt .... i f*cking hate you all ... you've probably never kissed a girl and think it's acceptable to drink wine in a pub .... doss c*nts

    i'd actually prefer it if one of them said

    "lose your rag, stamp on your mouse, and javelin your pen through your squidgy flat screen monitor"

    it's what i'm going to do anyway.
     
  11. Congrats RTFQ & D_D! Together you have successfully managed to make my missus smile at an arrse post :) DB can back me up when I say this is an unsurpassed achievement!

    lancslad
     
  12. Well done Mrs. lancs! :D ARRSErs are 'funny haha' as well as 'funny weird'! :lol:
     
  13. Oh, I wish!!!!!

    Another quality post by RTFQ! :wink:
     
  14. .....and breath.

    Beebs :D
     
  15. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    I've found my happy place now.




    It smells of scampi and tastes like batteries.