MPs TO RECEIVE AFGHANISTAN GUILT ALLOWANCE

#1
MEMBERS of parliament are to award themselves a monthly allowance based on how guilty they feel about under-equipped British soldiers in Afghanistan.

The size of the payments will be linked directly to the number of casualties, with MPs warning that the guiltier they feel, the more money they are going to need.


Allowance
 
#2
Thats fcuking disgraceful!!

How low will these wnakers go, I hate them so much. Not fit to lick the boots of our brave boys.

Bring on the revolution!!!
 
#3
It is the Daily Mash you know!
 
#5
Pantsoff said:
MEMBERS of parliament are to award themselves a monthly allowance based on how guilty they feel about under-equipped British soldiers in Afghanistan.

The size of the payments will be linked directly to the number of casualties, with MPs warning that the guiltier they feel, the more money they are going to need.


Allowance
Somewhere, some serpant is reading this thinking, "My, what an idea."
Expect Pa Broons phone to be ringing soon :lol:
 
#6
The_Rattler said:
is it index linked
Indeed, like all their expenses claims.

Middle index digit raised to the electorate as the claim is submitted.
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#7
From the same site:

RACISTS UNDERMINING ARMY'S MISSION TO KILL BROWN PEOPLE

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/racists-undermining-army's-mission-to-kill-brown-people-200910202151/

"The Army has a proud tradition of interacting with all manner of brown people before persuading them to give up their land while dealing sensitively with their concerns by shooting them fairly and squarely in the middle of the face."

:)
 
#8
It may be a 'Wah'... but don't give the Fook-kers any ideas, they might just try and vote themselves extra 'Rations' to recover from the 'Adverse Publicity' and 'emotional stress' of the expenses scandal..... :roll:
 
#11
#12
Oil_Slick said:
Badgertastic said:
Given that it's from a site that has produced such gems as
"Nick Clegg to unveil series of things that will never, ever happen"
and
"Brown to sell pathetic home-made wooden things"
then some people are a little too quick to go into Daily Mail outrage mode :wink:
So they tell the truth then!
Suppose that's why it's so hard for people to tell - though now that satire is completely indistinguishable from what the government will probably do next, I think we're in trouble!
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#13
#14
Alsacien said:
From the same site:

RACISTS UNDERMINING ARMY'S MISSION TO KILL BROWN PEOPLE

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/racists-undermining-army's-mission-to-kill-brown-people-200910202151/

"The Army has a proud tradition of interacting with all manner of brown people before persuading them to give up their land while dealing sensitively with their concerns by shooting them fairly and squarely in the middle of the face."

:)
He added: "Just last week, as we went into action, Jimmy shouted 'alright lads, this one's for Shami Chakrabati!'"
Made me snigger :D
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#15
joey_deacons_lad said:
Alsacien said:
From the same site:

RACISTS UNDERMINING ARMY'S MISSION TO KILL BROWN PEOPLE

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/racists-undermining-army's-mission-to-kill-brown-people-200910202151/

"The Army has a proud tradition of interacting with all manner of brown people before persuading them to give up their land while dealing sensitively with their concerns by shooting them fairly and squarely in the middle of the face."

:)
He added: "Just last week, as we went into action, Jimmy shouted 'alright lads, this one's for Shami Chakrabati!'"
Made me snigger :D
This one is better:

WHAT IS YOUR F*CKING PROBLEM? BRITAIN ASKS IMF
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/polit...*****-problem?-britain-asks-imf-200901291541/

:D :D :D
 
#16
The_Rattler said:
is it index linked
Yes. The more casualties "we" incur, the bigger the guilt and, hence, bigger the payout.

I fear, however, that the article errs in one way. It fails to point out that if casualty rates drop then there will be a compensatory increase in "performance related" pay for improving the situation.
 
#17
"I have lost count of the number of young privates who have told me that when they leave the service they want to work for the Equality and Human Rights Commission helping Bangladeshi women to fill in benefit forms."

Class.
 
#18
I thought you might like it!
 

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