Right on you fellow spunkers, I am returning to England after a 5 year absence. I will be living and working in Lincoln, a city I used to know well. I left the UK with my wife and I am returning as a single bloke. We left the crime splattered estates of Reading and indulged ourselves in a crime free, gloriously friendly and the stress free environment of West Cork. I have spent less than 3 weeks in the old homeland since mid 2007, and to be honest I have no idea what to expect. I have the typical squaddie mentality, in that I support the underdog, I do not suffer fools gladly and I thoroughly enjoy the pub scene. Although I am now totally chilled and relaxed, I do have previous with regards to giving 'advice' to gobsites on my old estate, on the bus and anywhere else where said gobshites enter my space and piss me off. I would appreciate any advice as to how I can keep cool, and not waste the 5 years I have spent in a relaxed setting. It is fairly obvious that I will have to start locking my front door and car when I leave them (alien concept here) and I will have to be polite to the shopkeeper who doesn't speak English. So what are the pitfalls I am likely to encounter, if any? This is a serious question, and just because I posted it in the NAAFI does not mean it has a given right to abuse, stupid comments and fuckwittery. In your own time... Soapy tit wank etc.