Motorcyclists

#1
Cracking day down here in shandy drinking Southerner land so being a bloke I decided to go for a drive in the sun.

The entirety of which was ruined by arrogant pricks on superbikes.

Now we got a lot of these leather clad organ donors around here, and being a fair man I have a rule. I'll "move over" to the left most part of the lane for the first three that come up so close it seems like they want to give me a reach around, and if anyone of those 3 says thank you in any form, be it a not or little tip of the hand or whatever, then I continue to move over for the rest of the journey.
If they don't say thanks then anyone else can feck off.

Needless to say it's a very rare occurrence when one of them bothers to thank me.

Most other times in motoring if you stop, or move to let someone through a gap, or out of a road you get a flash of the lights or a wave of the hand to say thanks, but it seems motorcyclists think they don't have to bother with common manners.

They are either so far up your hoop they could rest their nutsack on my back bumper, or at lights they go round and then cut in at a 45 degree angle narrowly missing the front.

I'd just like to say I'm a huge petrol head and have always toyed with the idea of getting a bike. But I simply wouldn't want to be tarred with the same brush as all the arrogant pricks that do, indisputably, spend most of their time simply ignoring any of the rules of the road, or worst, motoring like a gentleman.

Am I the only one that thinks the all drive like they couldn't care less about anyone else?
 
#4
"... Am I the only one that thinks the all drive like they couldn't care less about anyone else? " asks Wetneck. Don't worry, they don't care about themselves. However, they're like the Nips or North Koreans... they just keep coming.
 
#5
Title should read: Motorcyclists - I'm envious, and would if the wife would let me.
 
#6
Cracking day down here in shandy drinking Southerner land so being a bloke I decided to go for a drive in the sun.

The entirety of which was ruined by arrogant pricks on superbikes.

Now we got a lot of these leather clad organ donors around here, and being a fair man I have a rule. I'll "move over" to the left most part of the lane for the first three that come up so close it seems like they want to give me a reach around, and if anyone of those 3 says thank you in any form, be it a not or little tip of the hand or whatever, then I continue to move over for the rest of the journey.
If they don't say thanks then anyone else can feck off.

Needless to say it's a very rare occurrence when one of them bothers to thank me.

Most other times in motoring if you stop, or move to let someone through a gap, or out of a road you get a flash of the lights or a wave of the hand to say thanks, but it seems motorcyclists think they don't have to bother with common manners.

They are either so far up your hoop they could rest their nutsack on my back bumper, or at lights they go round and then cut in at a 45 degree angle narrowly missing the front.

I'd just like to say I'm a huge petrol head and have always toyed with the idea of getting a bike. But I simply wouldn't want to be tarred with the same brush as all the arrogant pricks that do, indisputably, spend most of their time simply ignoring any of the rules of the road, or worst, motoring like a gentleman.

Am I the only one that thinks the all drive like they couldn't care less about anyone else?
Have you never released the genitalia of a leather clad biker before?

The joy of inhaling that sweaty musky tip before scrubbing your throat with it is an absolute joy, nay, nirvana.

To be then bent over by his biker buddies and have your anus roughly parted by a German helmet wearing hillbilly seconds before his rough moustache nuzzles your hungry back eye is akin to celestial choirs singing Freddy Mercury's "Barcelona".

Anyway, the mere fact you mentioned going "for a drive in the sun" on an actual Sunday puts you in the bracket for age related euthanasia.
 
#7
Ah, diddums. Man up you rancid cunt.

You got a bit tumescent over the smell and sound of my Ducati as I whipped past you in your Ford Padwagon. Did I make you jump when you were listening to Dido ?
 
#8
Just relax in the knowledge that the odds are that one day their plastic-clad bonces will be bouncing down the road without the rest of their body as they lean just that bit too far over on a blind bend and kiss the bumper of a van going the other way.
 
#9
Possibly, a Ducati combined with the sweet purring of a Triumph triple at speed was the noise that woke him up from his reading of the Sunday Mail Horoscopes as he toddled along at 40mph in a 60 zone that's got his back up.
 
#10
There are shit head bikers out there but plenty more of the cunts are in cars - I've seen many car pull over to the middle of the road to try and prevent me passing! not sure why
 
#11
Cracking day down here in shandy drinking Southerner land so being a bloke I decided to go for a drive in the sun. The entirety of which was ruined by arrogant pricks on superbikes.
They're doing the same as you - making the most of the weather. unfortunately, a lot (not all) of the bikers that act that way are "warm weekend warriors" and lack road sense or consideration when they leap on their machines (which have probably been garaged for five or six months). Those you saw are in a minority of bikers, believe it or not. The majority will have escaped your attention because they weren't acting the maggot. I ride a bike designed for tom-foolery, but I save that for track days. I don't expect anyone to move over for me on the road, if they do it's a bonus and they'll get a big old wave or a leg out (do non-bikers know that one?). I've ridden in groups from a couple to a couple of thousand, and I'll leave the group if anything like that starts happening. Sorry your day was spoiled, but no, it's not ALL bikers :)
 
#12
FFS! Apologies for the layout of my last, bloody editor keeps removing my returns.
 
#13
You're winding yourself up because you think you're doing them a kindness by pulling over. You're not, you're going to shower those following with all the shit out of the gutter you're driving in. Just do your own thing and let them worry about when and where they overtake. I do agree that it can be easier said than done when some plum is stationed 1m away from your offside rear corner and he's beaming megawatts of halogen into your face via the door mirror, these cunts wind me up too when I'm in my car. I wonder how many of these characters moan when the car just in front of them pulls across to the right- they're not being cunts, they're just trying to avoid being blinded.
 
#14
Cracking day down here in shandy drinking Southerner land so being a bloke I decided to go for a drive in the sun.

The entirety of which was ruined by arrogant pricks on superbikes.

Now we got a lot of these leather clad organ donors around here, and being a fair man I have a rule. I'll "move over" to the left most part of the lane for the first three that come up so close it seems like they want to give me a reach around, and if anyone of those 3 says thank you in any form, be it a not or little tip of the hand or whatever, then I continue to move over for the rest of the journey.
If they don't say thanks then anyone else can feck off.

Needless to say it's a very rare occurrence when one of them bothers to thank me.

Most other times in motoring if you stop, or move to let someone through a gap, or out of a road you get a flash of the lights or a wave of the hand to say thanks, but it seems motorcyclists think they don't have to bother with common manners.

They are either so far up your hoop they could rest their nutsack on my back bumper, or at lights they go round and then cut in at a 45 degree angle narrowly missing the front.

I'd just like to say I'm a huge petrol head and have always toyed with the idea of getting a bike. But I simply wouldn't want to be tarred with the same brush as all the arrogant pricks that do, indisputably, spend most of their time simply ignoring any of the rules of the road, or worst, motoring like a gentleman.

Am I the only one that thinks the all drive like they couldn't care less about anyone else?
Let me straighten something out for you; as far as bikers are concerned, you (e.g. all car drivers) are just a dangerous, unpredictable obstacle - nothing more. You don't have to like it, but you should accept it. Once you do, it all becomes clear that all you need to do is just stay in line with the rest of the lumpen prols and we will find our own way round you - don't worry your little head how we do it, just accept that it will be done because, quite frankly, we don't want to be in your vicinity for a moment longer than necessary.

Try not to be too miffed if you don't get a wave or cheery thumbs-up either; it's nothing personal, but I'd rather not remove my hands from the controls to satisfy some primitive need for recognition from what is essentially a lump of clay controlling several tons of lethal machinery and whose idea of good driving is to swerve all over their lane. Similarly, I don't wave to green traffic lights for letting me through either.

In the unlikely event of you ever growing the necessary equipment for a bike licence, and subsequent purchase thereof, you will not only understand my post but will also start to receive recognition in the form of the "biker nod" even if, as I suspect, you ride around on some oil-gargling pile of 1960s crap looking like something from Wallace and Grommit.

Now, you've held me up long enough, I need to be in that thread over ther
 
#15
Well Wetty maybe its the being darn Sarf or maybe its just you.

Up here in deepest darkest Lincolnshire we have Cadwell park not too far away, a veritable magnet for leather clad joy boys.
After they leave a race day some do ride as if they are the home straight and act like total hoons on the way home, but if you move over and allow them through its rare that you don't get some form of recognition.

Road bike riding is a bit dodgy anyway, thats why I do all mine offroad, down and dirty. (that and the wife won't let me get my licence).
 
#16
Bikers can sit 2" off my rear if they want, I don't mind it, because I can see them. It's easy then to know what they are doing. You know they want to pass you so they will do that. If there's space I'll give them the extra foot or two and usher them past with a hand signal. Don't care about being thanked, they are on a bike and need all their limbs to stop themselves from becoming mincemeat.

However, if they roar up and then sit in my blind spot so I have no idea where they are or what they are doing then I'll brake test the fucker and laugh my tits off as I watch the daft cunt in the mirror panic and wobble or bounce off the nearest hard object. I'll then thank them for my entertainment by giving them the special thank you wave which consists of a hand gripping a round object and being moved up and down furiously.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#17
I think some people drive/ride like its a war and it really isn't. I recall a poster campaign when I used to instruct for the advanced driving test 'Would you rather be dead on time?'.
If people want to behave like idiots I really don't have to mirror the behaviour.
 
#18
Well Wetty maybe its the being darn Sarf or maybe its just you.

Up here in deepest darkest Lincolnshire we have Cadwell park not too far away, a veritable magnet for leather clad joy boys.
Cadders, we hear the muspters tearing down the '46 behind so at a rate of knots. If its bright and warm I head North or West, avoid Willy Woods and enjoy the copless back roads of Nth Notts. As your an off roader did you goto the sand racing over at Mabo today? A tad cold so I'm led to believe?
 
#19
There are shit head bikers out there but plenty more of the cunts are in cars - I've seen many car pull over to the middle of the road to try and prevent me passing! not sure why
When an oncoming car pulls over to the middle of the road, it's to simplify the insurance claim. That way you'll either miss or hit just one car.
 
#20
The bikers I have the most problem with in these parts are the lycra clad variety, particularly some clubs who seem to think they can run Tour informal style peletons on public roads at weekends and not cause chaos and grief simply because they station wankers with red flags dotted around the route.

As for Bikers, most are OK but you do get the odd selfish prick who seems to think he is immortal.
 
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