Mother reports topless sunbather on Italian beach to police for 'troubling' sons

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Semper_Flexibilis, Aug 12, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I'm sure the cops enjoyed looking at the evidence!!
     
  2. Great way to close the Abstract of Evidence, "From what I could see she was very attractive!"
     
  3. They're Italian aren't they..:headbang: As for the kids ... the blood runs thin or else they're batting for the other side if they can't get off by eyeballing a young woman spreading cream (heh! see what I did there) on her titties. :-?8-O
     
  4. Fancy that, my dad was greatly troubled by some young German bint on the very same beach, he called her Anzio Annie, thats Mrs Krupp to you that is. In the end she was deported to the USA, she was well greased but I don't know if she ever got her obturators out...
     
  5. Wot no piccies?
     
  6. I don't think we should be asked to make a decision without seeing the evidence. The world (well, my world) demands to know!
     
  7. ""Let's be clear my client is tall, brunette and has an ample breast and is therefore going to naturally be sensuous when she applies cream to her chest"

    Her brief no doubt is providing his services 'pro boner....err Bono' I'd guess. Note the entirely unneccessary use of the word 'sensuous' in that statement!

    Coat/Taxi/Bye
     
  8. I have been searching the italian news sites for any imagery of Luisa, alas, the bewbies, and Luisa are nowhere to be seen… yet. But being Italy, I'm sure she and the offending 'evidence' will be shortly.
     
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I suspect there was some of that eodipus wossname projection going on by the mother. Watching her boys get all 'uncomfortable' and that, looking at some other bint rubbing cream into her unfeasably large jubblies, rather than checking out mummy's givers-of-nourishment.

    mmmmmmmm, jubblies, cream, ointment, rubbing, boobage, sun, oil, tan, b r e a s t s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s
     
  10. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    She will be having an 'interview' with Berlesconi (sp?) so is unavailable for comment.
     
  11. Mummy, why don't you go topless?

    It'd stop your knees getting sunburnt.
     
  12. Personally when I was 12-14 I would have crawled over several kilometres of broken glass to watch such a thing. Perhaps they were worried their mother would join in.
     
  13. Maybe the mother had tried to scare the boys by telling them that if they ever became peeping toms they would turn to stone, So on the day of viewing the loverly Luisa and her "ample assets" they must have started screaming "Arrgh its happening mummy we are starting to get stiff!"
     
  14. Shy kids in swimming trunks, who are inevitably drawn to the 'luscious spectacle' before them [attractive topless woman with ginormous *s applying creme] trying to cope with a stiffy in front of mum. Mums sees their 'embarrassment' and seeks to remove cause.

    The lads probably couldn't stop looking and... well... things grew out of hand.