Most unreliable mate

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aunty Stella, Mar 15, 2003.

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  1. Who is your most unreliable mate and whats the best excuse they have come up with?

    I have a certain business partner who has so far let me down 97 times by dodging meetings. Excuses so far have been:-

    Blocked roads

    Fell asleep

    Dying relatives


    Too late

    Too early

    Car broken

    Phone broken

    Whale landed on house

    Alien kidnap


    Boyfriend ill

    Blackpool quarantined


    Arrested for child porn

    Too cold

    Too hot

    Wrong time of month

    Penguins on road

    Too fat to move off chair


    So, any worse mates or better excuses? ;D ;D
  2. MMmmm, not sure if this is a disguised attempt at ORG having a dig at MDN,  but I thought I'd add my ten pence worth, seeing as I'm out of my pit and suffering a hangover.

    I have a mate who I've known since I was in infants.  He joined the RAF a few years after I joined the Army.  He has been disowned and binned by everyone else, including his wife, friends and every girl he meets after around a few days ! ! !


    He dictates what/were/when and how with all his girlfriends/wife (who divorced him)

    He has no sense of urgency, example, EVERY time I arrange to meet him in a pub, he'll either turn up very late, or not at all, then he has 101 excuses to tell, usually over a text message, as he hasn't the balls to tell me to my face.  And he can't see the problem when he turns up, in some cases, two hours late.  Er, I've been sat on my arrse for two hours waiting, and you don't see a problem with that ? ? ?

    Comes to my house, and conducts mobile phone calls to his RAF buddies through the three hours he's here.  Reason, to use up his free minutes.  Er, hang on, your round at my gaff for beer, chips and films, surely you'll see your buddies on Monday ? ? ?

    Is incredibly tight with his money.  A few of us go out in to the city centre.  Head to the nightclub.  Cash card machine next to club is knackered so he can't get money, so I immediately say I'll pay you in, and the others and myself will get you the drinks in, you can return the favour some other time.  He agrees.  Two hours later, I find him looking into his wallet at the bar.  There's two £20 notes sat there, looking lonely.  I say I thought you had no money, he replies I never said that, I just couldn't get money out of the machine.  Errr, why then, didn't you say that when I said I'd pay you in and get drinks ? ? ?

    And it goes on and on and on.  And has done for the last twenty years.

    Everyone has told me to bin his friendship.......

    Excellent therapy this !!
  3. What friendship? What do you get out of it? Bin him Gunny........ :(
  4. yeah bin the bast*rd !, i would too ive got a friend who can be late and is tight with his money so when he is late i usually go away and do my thing if he complains i just tell him tough he knows the time also moneywise i just tell him the score so at the moment we are matey enough for talking but thats about all i  see about it , i have other friendwho are more worthy for my time
  5. The worst thing about that sort of "mate", is that he doesn't think you've sussed his little scams.

    I know a lad who's tighter than an Italian waiters trousers. If he comes out with a bunch of us, he always fulls the same f**kin stunts. If you get lumbered with him, you end up spending £40 more than you meant to.

    His best one is, if he shares a taxi with you on the way to a club. You get out of the cab and go to pay the cabbie. This guy always does the same thing. Jumps out, lets you pay the cab and says "I'll get the first round in".

    How does that fcukin work. How is that compensating you, in that you'll be getting the next round in. In fact, the next time he does it, i'll kill him.

    Gunny, I suggest you take a leaf out of my book and kill your friend too, saving yourself a load of money, which can be spent upon your release.
  6. Sorry Gunner-rear but you've known this fella for 20 years and still put up with that B@LLOCKS, no-one but to blame but your own sad sorry arse.
  7. Oh mannnn, your still giving me jip Swagger.  

    Friendship is a really funny thing.  One minute best buddies, the next, just friends.  I don't see the bloke day in/day out, just occasionally, hence I'm not constantly being messed around.

    And Swagger, stop fcuking your mother.  It only makes you more angry.
  8. Fella don't knock it till you've tried it. Your ma's better though.
  9. I thought a rabid dog already had. ???

    The worst thing a mate has done was move in on my girlfriend when I was 17. Her name was Lynda, and she was the first girl I ever really fell for (though she obviously didn't feel the same way about me!). Anyway, they got together a few times which kind of put the nail in the coffin of our relationship. He told me about it in a note he passed back with a vid and some books he borrowed that he returned to my parents and then went in to hiding for 3 days. He offered not to go out with her if I objected (like he would have stuck to that bargain), but I decided that obsession was the better part of valour and quietly seethed for about 6 months. Rather than loose a mate over a bit of skirt (mates before muff and all!) I made a golden rule that the 3 of us were never to be in the same place at the same time and that the issue was never talked about. They were together for about 3 months before he cheated on her with his ex.

    Still, life has a way of returning the favour, and when he was 21 he got engaged to the "love of his life" who then shagged a bloke from the football team at the pub where he worked in the back of her car. The regulars all found out about it before he did, and the landlady had to break the news rather than having it get back to him any other way.

    Needless to say, we are still the best of mates and he is now engaged to somone who treats him well, and I am chuffed to bits for him. All's well that ends well as they say. Oh, and as for the bitch that ditched me....who knows and who cares?  ;D

    2 Christmases ago, I got a bit "tired and emotional" so joined the site, to see what had become of some of my old flames, well one in particular.

    Eventually got in touch, quite a nice discussion, she sent me a photo.

    Jesus! She'd obviously developed an inability to walk past the bakers in the interval. She was also quite proud of the fact she'd stiffed the bloke from my school she'd married, for a considerable amount,the house, and his very nice motor, and I know how much Seb liked his flash cars,  as well as her FOUR kids!

    Not sure how she went from sexy bint personified, to Greedy avaricious Moose in the interval, but I regard it as a lucky escape :)
  11. I knew a chap that when it come to getting the rounds in, he would always be the last to offer.

    Then when it was his turn he would be climbing out the toilet window.

  12. [Resurrected]

    Arff arrf
  13. Any reason? It's been doing allright by itself for over 4 years, why disturb it now???
  14. Day off-beer taken over...

    apologies :oops: