Most Ugly Aircraft

rampant

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
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...On the upside you wouldn’t want to be in a fighter creeping up behind it and hitting a wall of hot flying metal...
You wouldn’t need to; just put an AMRAAM or ASRAAM into it from beyond the range of the guns!

The Short SB.6 Seamew was a British aircraft designed in 1951 by David Keith-Lucas of Shorts as a lightweight anti-submarine platform to replace the Royal Navy Fleet Air Arm (FAA)'s Grumman Avenger AS 4 with the Reserve branch of the service. It first flew on 23 August 1953, but, due to poor performance coupled with shifting defence doctrine, it never reached service and only 24 production aircraft had flown before the project was cancelled

View attachment 339067
The RAF also briefly looked at it when considering the purchase of Short Range Maritime Patrol aircraft to augment a smaller buy of Shackletons.

The weather presenter Sarah Keith Lucas's grandfather .

The Seamew's 'poor performance' included having handling characteristics which were so bad that it was held that the Shorts test pilot, Wally Runciman, was the only man who could fly the thing without killing himself. Until his fatal crash in the prototype in 1956...

I've heard one poor chap who flew it suggest that it flew like a small three star hotel, without the amenities and another RN veteran suggested that it must have been designed by an Admiral who felt that naval aeroplanes must look like ships and handle like them when airborne. It was bloody dangerous and its cancellation as the result of the Sandys Review is thought to be about the only good thing that came of that...
One Test Pilot’s report stated: ‘The Seamew’s cockpit is difficult to access for a pilot; it should be made impossible.’!

Regards,
MM
 
The Short SB.6 Seamew was a British aircraft designed in 1951 by David Keith-Lucas of Shorts as a lightweight anti-submarine platform to replace the Royal Navy Fleet Air Arm (FAA)'s Grumman Avenger AS 4 with the Reserve branch of the service. It first flew on 23 August 1953, but, due to poor performance coupled with shifting defence doctrine, it never reached service and only 24 production aircraft had flown before the project was cancelled

View attachment 339067
It looks like the Fairey Gannet's anorexic older sister.
 
You mean if you went back to the drawing board and redesigned it from scratch!

On the upside you wouldn’t want to be in a fighter creeping up behind it and hitting a wall of hot flying metal.

Having watched the video in #971 I am warming to it. It might look like it was knocked out in a tractor factory (one with a flourishing sideline in industrial greenhouses) but in flight it has a certain ugly elegance to it.

I don’t think ground attack aircraft are meant to look attractive as function governs form.
I presume it could carry and fire or drop most of the Russian arsenal of air launched or dropped weapons; not just FABs and unguided rockets?
 
The Gannet's competitor, The Blackburn B-54

View attachment 339150
I sometimes think that Blackburn ran two shifts of aircraft designers.

1. A sober, drug free, sane and sensible daytime shift that designed decent and quite attractive aircraft.

2. A night shift consisting of alcoholics, drug addicts and the certifiably insane who got whacked out of their skulls and designed rubbish aircraft in a befuddled haze.
 
I sometimes think that Blackburn ran two shifts of aircraft designers.

1. A sober, drug free, sane and sensible daytime shift that designed decent and quite attractive aircraft.

2. A night shift consisting of alcoholics, drug addicts and the certifiably insane who got whacked out of their skulls and designed rubbish aircraft in a befuddled haze.
Thankfully the day shift were on when the memo that led to the Buccaneer came in!
 
nah, the Buccaneer was modelled on a fat girl from Portsmouth, as experienced one night by the design team...
I always thought that about the Saunders Roe jet seaplane.

I think I posted up the thread that it was the Kate Winslett of aircraft. A bit bulky but you would die happy if she sat on your face.

I had a girlfriend circa 1973 who was absolutely, genuinely beautiful but not exactly anorexic (not a Scaley Albereto blubbersaurus but at the upper end of the voluptuous spectrum). She asked me once why we rarely went out and spent all our time in bed but she really was a “moped woman” (both fun to ride but you don’t want your mates seeing you).




Sorry. Digression. Thought it was the Memorable Things From Your Formative Years thread.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
Sorry if it's already (deservedly) earned a place ^ but ...may we present The All-Original Big Ugly Fat Fúcker:



Oddly, it looks better in the air



America's iconic war machine
 
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