Most Stupid Thing Yo've Ever Done?

#62
Monday morning and over the noise of the shower I think I hear the wife shouting for me. Clad only in a towel I stumble downstairs (past a very sheepish looking cat) to find out what all the fuss is about.

The previous evening, whilst locking up before bed, I'd managed to shut said cat in the living room. A turd so big it looked like a lion had deposited it now stared up at me from in front of the tv. The carpet, just 5 months old is now completely ruined where the cat, in desperation has clawed at it so much in front of the door it is now beyond repair.

On a bright note, the mrs didn't speak to me for 48 hours!
 
#63
Monday morning and over the noise of the shower I think I hear the wife shouting for me. Clad only in a towel I stumble downstairs (past a very sheepish looking cat) to find out what all the fuss is about.

The previous evening, whilst locking up before bed, I'd managed to shut said cat in the living room. A turd so big it looked like a lion had deposited it now stared up at me from in front of the tv. The carpet, just 5 months old is now completely ruined where the cat, in desperation has clawed at it so much in front of the door it is now beyond repair.

On a bright note, the mrs didn't speak to me for 48 hours!
Put a rug over the damage.
 
#65
Monday morning and over the noise of the shower I think I hear the wife shouting for me. Clad only in a towel I stumble downstairs (past a very sheepish looking cat) to find out what all the fuss is about.

The previous evening, whilst locking up before bed, I'd managed to shut said cat in the living room. A turd so big it looked like a lion had deposited it now stared up at me from in front of the tv. The carpet, just 5 months old is now completely ruined where the cat, in desperation has clawed at it so much in front of the door it is now beyond repair.

On a bright note, the mrs didn't speak to me for 48 hours!
Throw the cat in a wood chipper.

Tape your wife to the cat.
 
#66
Did a parachute jump for charity in the early 80s. Managed to completely miss the airfield we were jumping over and landed hard in a ploughed field. Something felt odd as I landed but I gathered up the parachute and walked back to the airfield.

By 10 that evening I was in A&E in complete agony, felt like my left knee was going to explode. Into theatre the next day where they found I'd damaged a ligament. It's started playing up recently, so I'll doubtless have a gammy knee now for the rest of my life. The folly of youth?

On the plus side, I recall having 6 weeks off work with it after the op, so not all bad news.
 
#67
Many years ago I was sitting with a friend drinking coffee when I looked round he was pulling a Russian 40mm grenade apart with a cigarette hanging out off his mouth to see what was inside .Most Stupid Thing You have Ever Done? Called that bloke my friend :)
 
#68
Posted my full CV, with all of my personal contact details, including both my, and my wife phones numbers, on a public forum, in response to a 7 year old post re a job vacancy.

Oh, wait, that wasn't actually me...
 
#69
Going out on parade after some home leave after basic and my lightweights had double tramlines. When asked in expletives by the Sgt who the hell ironed my pants, I replied my mum, for the life of me I still can't work out what the hell I was thinking.

Took me months to get over the slaughtering I took for that :) both by the NCOs and the lads.
 
#70
Pulling a double shift on the arse end of an installlation going badly wrong and fiddling with the innards of a malfunctioning bit of kit. Pity it was still live

That hurt.
 
#71
Many, many things.

Assuming wrongly that I’d identified which circuit all the sockets in our new house were on so I could keep some live to use a drill, and only realising I hadn’t as I did the amateur sparkie’s jig in the kitchen. My how it tingled.
 
#72
Thinking that because I could surf on a surfboard ok, trying it in a slalom kayak that's shaped like 2 triangles back to back might be fun

It will be easy, I'll be able to pose away and look awesome

The Emperor was proud of me that day, as instead of capsizing like a normal person, I thought no I'm going to ride the edge of this wave and brace against it looking cool

Snap....there went my shoulder, immovable force vs human.
 
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#73
I've posted it before but when I bought the house I'm in now, it had an outside toilet and an adjoining coal store. Both filled with crap from the previous owner. In the coal store were what looked like two railway sleepers used as rafters, and atop them was an old rusting water tank. A few pokes of the tank with a screwdriver revealed it was pretty much rotten through so I thought I'd get it down as I was planning to knock through from the outside loo to eventually make a utility room.

I attacked the rafters with the only tools I had to hand at the time. I started with a handsaw, but that was bollocks, so I used a circular saw but even going all the way around them I only got 3/4 of the way through. In desperation I started with a crowbar in the cut trying to split the rafters. Standing underneath the buggers was hot sweaty work. After about an hour I stood back thought there must be an easier way of doing this when there was an almighty crash like a bomb going off, followed by a cloud of dust that covered everything in sight including me.

The rafters had eventually given way, and what I thought was an empty water tank that I'd been standing under a minute before had crashed to the ground. It was full to the brim with bricks and masonry waste. I reckon about 2 tons of it.

I never worked on the house alone again.
 
#77
1) Start a thread entitled "most stupid things you've ever done."

2) Spend relaxing weekend with wife and mother in law, dote over scan of upcoming child.

3) Take wife and MiL shopping, tire them out and lovingly put them to bed with a cup of tea and promise to wake them up at 2pm.

4) Stick headphones on and crack one out on Xhamster.


MiLs exact words, "I did call out as I came down the stairs but you sounded busy...."

Strictly's on later so hopefully they won't notice my suicide.
 
#78
1) Start a thread entitled "most stupid things you've ever done."

2) Spend relaxing weekend with wife and mother in law, dote over scan of upcoming child.

3) Take wife and MiL shopping, tire them out and lovingly put them to bed with a cup of tea and promise to wake them up at 2pm.

4) Stick headphones on and crack one out on Xhamster.


MiLs exact words, "I did call out as I came down the stairs but you sounded busy...."

Strictly's on later so hopefully they won't notice my suicide.
If she didn't grass you to the wife, she likes you.
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#79
Believing her when she said she was clean.
 
#80
Yeah, I once put diesel into my petrol car years ago after driving for 10 hours from the south of England up to Aberdeen. I was so knackered I didn't realise I stuck the wrong pump nozzle in the tank. Fortunatley it was only a gallon of diesel as the tank was 3 quarters full of petrol. My car still ran but it was a bit lumpy until the fuel in the tank was used up a bit so I could put some more petrol in. It didn't do any lasting damage except make the exhaust smoke like an old boiler for a while.
I put petrol (£25 worth) into my 3.0 V6 diesel on Friday......... A big oh shit! moment as the potential for damage can run into a few grand......! Bollox!


I topped the tank up with diesel and got car home. Yesterday, I added (overdosed!) the car on millers diesel additive and then proceeded to drive 120miles before topping tank with diesel again.

Car runs fine. A bit longer to start (about 5 secs).

I'm now waiting with ring piece clenched for the fuel pump and injectors to shit themselves and give up..... An expensive experiment in progress.
 

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