Most Stupid Thing Yo've Ever Done?

#1
I know there's a mong's thread but I thought it'd be interesting to see what stupid things people would own up to. I'll kick off with my trip to A&E this morning after bending down to take the filter out of the dishwasher and stabbing myself in the eyeball with a protruding knife. Six stitches and a whisker away from losing it. Still, on the plus side the wife unclogged it when we got back so not a total waste of a day.
 
#2
Hmmmmm, give me a moment............
 

exspy

War Hero
#3
I once joined a forum populated by a bunch of angry, misogynistic, misanthropic, homophobic, racist, sexist, geriatric drunks.

Cheers,
Dan.
 

TheresaMay

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
#4
Not sure if it's the most stupid, but posted this the other night on FaceAche to share my bellendery with family and friends...



Filling up at Morrison's, goes to pay. Not looking at the cashier I say, "Number eleven, please"

"Six"

"No... Eleven"

"Six"

"No... Number eleven"

I eventually looked at a bemused cashier wondering why he's being a bit of an arse.

"I've not said anything", he says. "That's just the machine telling me Six has finished refuelling".

Slightly red-faced, I apologised, paid my moolar and took full advantage of the fact that no other members of the general public were present to witness my innocent misunderstanding - walking out of the place to an accompaniment of the electronic chorus of "Six.... Six... Nine... Nine.... Nine..."
 
#5
I once joined a forum populated by a bunch of angry, misogynistic, misanthropic, homophobic, racist, sexist, geriatric drunks.

Cheers,
Dan.
UKIP?
 
#6
I once joined a forum populated by a bunch of angry, misogynistic, misanthropic, homophobic, racist, sexist, geriatric drunks.

Cheers,
Dan.
Mumsnet has got quite the reputation.
 
#9
I know there's a mong's thread but I thought it'd be interesting to see what stupid things people would own up to. I'll kick off with my trip to A&E this morning after bending down to take the filter out of the dishwasher and stabbing myself in the eyeball with a protruding knife. Six stitches and a whisker away from losing it. Still, on the plus side the wife unclogged it when we got back so not a total waste of a day.
My eyes are watering just reading that
 
#12
Marry wife 1....

Marry wife 2....


Jury is still out on wife 3
 
#14
I once stabbed my self in the right bollox requiring 2 small stitches...
Using a leatherman up a step ladder to trim some cable, put it back into pocket without closing the blade.
 
#15
Whilst climbing a mast in NI, thought I'd looped my safety belt through the mast, leaned back to do some work, promptly fell six feet as I'd fucked it up somehow. Lucky I wasn't any higher as I got away with just shitty pants.
 
#17
Treats the wife to a new RAV 4 @ 18k a few years back as we needed to tow a caravan the dealer was throwing a tow bar on for free and it was 48 Hrs before it was ready.
so the day arrives the wife says they have been on the phone you can go and pick it up as I was going out the door she says because we got the towbar you will need to fill it with diesel.

Piper: collects new car and rocks round to tescos fills the tank for £70 fuck that was expensive (diesel was cheaper in them days) drives about 500 metres and every light on the dash comes on and car stops it then dawns on me that I have just filled it checks receipt and yes a tank full of petrol in a diesel so home in a taxi I head.
wife: why did a taxi drop you off?
piper:I just filled the car full of petrol
wife:good how much was it?
piper:fucking £70
wife:sure that's ok
piper:yes fucking great but its a diesel
wife:what?
piper:THE CAR IS DIESLE AS YOU KNOW AND I JUST FILLED IT WITH PETROL
wife: ha ha very funny
piper:did I get a taxi back for a laugh?
wife:then proceeds to blow a guddy
But it all turned out ok they drained the tank and it drove like shite for a couple of days as for the wife she still harps on about it ffs.
 
#18
Not wearing safety glasses on an industrial sewing machine, 7mm of needle in my eye. I've only got one eye!

Putting my finger into the car cigarette lighter, it wasn't orange, so must have been cold.

Electric fence, nylon shorts.

Going back to a failed pyroflash, still got the scars.

Touching the HT side of a transformer, luckily my dad saw me do it and shut it down.

Sent from my neocore_E1R1 using Tapatalk
 
#19
Treats the wife to a new RAV 4 @ 18k a few years back as we needed to tow a caravan the dealer was throwing a tow bar on for free and it was 48 Hrs before it was ready.
so the day arrives the wife says they have been on the phone you can go and pick it up as I was going out the door she says because we got the towbar you will need to fill it with diesel.

Piper: collects new car and rocks round to tescos fills the tank for £70 **** that was expensive (diesel was cheaper in them days) drives about 500 metres and every light on the dash comes on and car stops it then dawns on me that I have just filled it checks receipt and yes a tank full of petrol in a diesel so home in a taxi I head.
wife: why did a taxi drop you off?
piper:I just filled the car full of petrol
wife:good how much was it?
piper:******* £70
wife:sure that's ok
piper:yes ******* great but its a diesel
wife:what?
piper:THE CAR IS DIESLE AS YOU KNOW AND I JUST FILLED IT WITH PETROL
wife: ha ha very funny
piper:did I get a taxi back for a laugh?
wife:then proceeds to blow a guddy
But it all turned out ok they drained the tank and it drove like shite for a couple of days as for the wife she still harps on about it ffs.
She tells you to fill a diesel wagon with diesel. You fill it with petrol.

Are you sure you're on the right thread...?

Edited to add: just realised this isn't the "How bone is your missus" thread as first thought. Bloody tabbed browsers!
 
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#20
Returning refreshed at silly am I fancied some cheese on toast. For some reason I thought making it in a pop-up toaster laid on it's side would be a good idea. Peering into the slots 2 minutes and 30 seconds later wondering if the smoke and flames were a bad thing, I'm hit with a broadside of flaming charred bread and cheesey napalm.

Burning cheese BURNS. And fucking hurts.
 

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