Most pathetic excuse when caught out by her

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by carlbcfc, Jan 15, 2010.

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  1. Few years ago I went back to the birds with bite on my neck, obviously I did not have a clue otherwise i would of been "ill" around that time.

    She spotted it, went nuts, and my excuse was...

    Id been down my moms, and my younger brother stuck the vaccuum on my neck.

    Pathetic or what, worst still, got away with it.

    How did you get out of it?
  2. leave winnie out of this
  3. Toothpaste?
  4. Sorry, a bite. But a bit on my neck could provoke a better response, so take it as you wish :D
  5. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    ''I'm only wanking over this Japanese schoolgirl vomit porn because the one on the left reminds me of you princess.''
  6. A few years ago, a bloke called Bob (who'd been playing away with a good friend of his missus) came into the pub sporting a truly humongous love bite on his neck from a lunch time encounter with his bit on the side.

    When it was pointed out to him, he was aghast and started blubbing about how his missus was going to kill him.

    At this point his mate Stan stood up from his chair, went over to Bob and caught him in a strangle hold prior to launching two powerful short punches to his face.

    As Bob sat there dripping claret from his nose all over the pub carpet and raw welts raising up on his neck from the strangle hold, Stan said to him:

    "Tell her you got mugged."

    Genius! :D
  7. Remember after that arguement you said

    "OH JUST DO WHATEVER YOU F***ING WANT" How was I suppose to know it didnt include your sister????
  8. On cockier days I like to use:
    "If you don't like the answer dont ask the question"
    Never works
  9. This one could be a thread of its own..

    What is the worse thing you have said to spite your mrs during one of those special rows?
  10. Went and boned another pads wife in Farnborough a few years ago (doesnt matter her old man was REME). Ex wife: "what were you doing round Sharons house yesterday, whilst her husband is in Canada?"

    Self: "I went round and shagged the arse off her".

    Ex w: Yeah, right. She told me when I fronted her that you had rewired her stereo sound system for her. Let me tell you, Romeo, that charity begins at home. How long have I been waiting for you to tune the bloody video in the bedroom? Three bloody weeks, thats how long. So just remember there's things need doing around here before you go off on a good samaritan act".......

    Self: "yes dear." Thinks: "Fu cking result!"
  11. Women are so naive.
  12. Dont make me get your VISA revoked!!!!
  13. And from PPruNe...

    Acutally, I prefer your version of the joke. Keep 'em coming! :D
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Having returned from Op Granby ex Mrs B&T was going through my things and found a box of blueys, some from her but the majority from girls who were writing "To a soldier in the Gulf".

    Ex. "What are these?"
    Me. "Letters"
    Ex. "I know that, why were you writing to other women"
    Me. "They made the effort to write to someone, which is more than I can say for you! You were more interested in spending time with your sister than thinking about me. You don't know what's it's like being miles away from your family with no contact etc etc etc Blah Blah Blah.
    Ex. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking"
    Me. "Well thats the problem, you don't fcuking think do you"

    Result I get a blow job because of her guilt issues. Thanks fcuk she didn't really check the address's out and realise that they were all within a 25 mile radius.

    Go for the guilt trip, it's a winner.
  15. When caught by soon to be ex mrs, told her the bird I had been shagging for the last three months whilst she was away training reminded me of her, and stopped
    me getting lonely, and wasn't really cheating because the bit on the side was just like

    Kind of away with it, with new mrs now, happy as, wouldn't cheat now of course,(she checks my account on here these days)