Most Pain Youve Ever Experienced

#1
I had a catheter when I was about 13 years old. 3 blokes walked in and held me down, then a female doctor inserted the cnuting thing down my japs eye. Ouch.

nb. I was in hospital whilst all this happened. :p
 
#2
2nd degree burns on my left hand.

I was working at a pub at the time, while studying at a local college. I was in need of some quick, filling food and a bacon sarnie sounded like a perfect idea.

Doing it all to quickly, I poured boiling bacon fat and olive oil all over my left thumb, melting skin, etc.

I screamed 'Fccuuuuuuukkkkk!' and told my mum (I was 17, still living at home) that I needed to go to the A+E. She didn't believe me until I showed her my flash-fried hand.
 
#3
absentmindedly wiped my eye after slicing some chillis for a curry...
you could say it smarted a bit...

(and I'm talking about the eye in my head, not my japs-eye, although I daresay it would hurt there too!!)
 
#4
Whilst standing with a foot on each arm of the armchair to adjust the wall speakers,I slipped & done the splits.One of my b*llocks went back up & I went into hospital to have it sewn back down into the ol'd nutsack!Was nearly two months before normal service was resumed!
But I gather the most pain comes from snapping the Banjo string...
 
#7
Whilst putting a large paint pot on a shelf above me I slipped and did the splits ending up with the step ladder top rung between the legs.......result was a set of nuts the size of rugby balls, joined a choir and a marathon breath holding event. 8O


Pleas edear God take away the pain but leave the swelling :p


fastmedic
 
#10
when i was in school

we were having a snowball fight

and someone thought it would be great crack to put stones in them

well I got a snowball with a boulder right

into the Bolloxs and when I regained the power of speech I cried for days
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
I had a heart attack, that smarts a bit. But recently had to have an endoscopy, or sumething like. A wide screen, technicolour commercial video camera stuck down snakes ete. The pic displayed on screen. I bled when I pissed for 2 days. My eyes still water when I think about it.
 
#12
nips said:
I had a catheter when I was about 13 years old. 3 blokes walked in and held me down, then a female doctor inserted the cnuting thing down my japs eye. Ouch.

nb. I was in hospital whilst all this happened. :p
Only a catheter??? :roll:

Local anaesthetic gel makes that a breeze. :D

Try a shrapnel frag through the sciatic nerve. That'll make your eyes water - and yer member shrivel like it never did when a catheter threatened. :evil:

Tho' I definitely do not recommend it . . . :roll:

To this day I walk with a pronounced limp. Pronounced so it rhymes with "chimp". :1:
 
#13
Kidney infection - wipes the floor with most any other sort of pain I've ever experienced - broken limbs don't come close. Enough to have you curled up rolling on the floor whimpering when it came on. Colic comes a close second - Mrs Ex STAB though I was dieing!
 
#14
I've broken my nose, cheekbone, leg (fib & tib), collar bone, finger & toe (at different times).

They were painful, but by fcuk my coccyx just gave me a whole heap of extra pain, when I walked....and when I stopped.......and whet I tried sitting down.....and when I went to bed. You get the picture.

By the way Spike...I've also done the banjo string (no pain at first...I just wondered why she was so wet!). Still not a patch on the coccyx.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
Of course, we must not forget the real baddy; foreskin in zip!
 
#18
Broke my arm when I was 12, it disappeared under a pile of forwards, didn't feel much till I pulled it out, my hand was flopping around like a limp cock. Much fun.
 
#19
EX_STAB said:
Kidney infection - wipes the floor with most any other sort of pain I've ever experienced - broken limbs don't come close. Enough to have you curled up rolling on the floor whimpering when it came on. Colic comes a close second - Mrs Ex STAB though I was dieing!
Mate I'm with you on this one.
Just had a kidney stone. Started at 0500hrs awaking doubled up with total pain in bottom left quadrant of torso and felt the stone travel down the tubes (you can feel it) for the next 7 hours whilst drinking gallons of water and trying to walk on a treadmill and then pissing the little phucker out (with spikes) through the japs eye. Knob was still raw after a week.
PS: Apparently I was lucky as stones can go on for a couple of days. Maybe a medic can explain why....

HH
 

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