Most Pain Youve Ever Experienced

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by nips, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. I had a catheter when I was about 13 years old. 3 blokes walked in and held me down, then a female doctor inserted the cnuting thing down my japs eye. Ouch.

    nb. I was in hospital whilst all this happened. :p
  2. 2nd degree burns on my left hand.

    I was working at a pub at the time, while studying at a local college. I was in need of some quick, filling food and a bacon sarnie sounded like a perfect idea.

    Doing it all to quickly, I poured boiling bacon fat and olive oil all over my left thumb, melting skin, etc.

    I screamed 'Fccuuuuuuukkkkk!' and told my mum (I was 17, still living at home) that I needed to go to the A+E. She didn't believe me until I showed her my flash-fried hand.
  3. absentmindedly wiped my eye after slicing some chillis for a curry...
    you could say it smarted a bit...

    (and I'm talking about the eye in my head, not my japs-eye, although I daresay it would hurt there too!!)
  4. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Whilst standing with a foot on each arm of the armchair to adjust the wall speakers,I slipped & done the splits.One of my b*llocks went back up & I went into hospital to have it sewn back down into the ol'd nutsack!Was nearly two months before normal service was resumed!
    But I gather the most pain comes from snapping the Banjo string...
  5. Pain? Broken heart, women, snake with tits.
  6. Ruptured my ACL during riot training in the tin city during OPTAG for TELIC 4, still smarts when it pops.
  7. Whilst putting a large paint pot on a shelf above me I slipped and did the splits ending up with the step ladder top rung between the legs.......result was a set of nuts the size of rugby balls, joined a choir and a marathon breath holding event. 8O

    Pleas edear God take away the pain but leave the swelling :p

  8. Breaking my shin.

    Gotta be on a par with childbirth, although I would not know!!
  9. nah bango string nee bother, but infection in bollock tubes now that hurt. couldn't talk walk or owt else for at least 5 days..
  10. when i was in school

    we were having a snowball fight

    and someone thought it would be great crack to put stones in them

    well I got a snowball with a boulder right

    into the Bolloxs and when I regained the power of speech I cried for days
  11. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I had a heart attack, that smarts a bit. But recently had to have an endoscopy, or sumething like. A wide screen, technicolour commercial video camera stuck down snakes ete. The pic displayed on screen. I bled when I pissed for 2 days. My eyes still water when I think about it.
  12. Only a catheter??? :roll:

    Local anaesthetic gel makes that a breeze. :D

    Try a shrapnel frag through the sciatic nerve. That'll make your eyes water - and yer member shrivel like it never did when a catheter threatened. :evil:

    Tho' I definitely do not recommend it . . . :roll:

    To this day I walk with a pronounced limp. Pronounced so it rhymes with "chimp". :1:
  13. Kidney infection - wipes the floor with most any other sort of pain I've ever experienced - broken limbs don't come close. Enough to have you curled up rolling on the floor whimpering when it came on. Colic comes a close second - Mrs Ex STAB though I was dieing!
  14. I've broken my nose, cheekbone, leg (fib & tib), collar bone, finger & toe (at different times).

    They were painful, but by fcuk my coccyx just gave me a whole heap of extra pain, when I walked....and when I stopped.......and whet I tried sitting down.....and when I went to bed. You get the picture.

    By the way Spike...I've also done the banjo string (no pain at first...I just wondered why she was so wet!). Still not a patch on the coccyx.
  15. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Of course, we must not forget the real baddy; foreskin in zip!