Most non-elite "elite" units

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Vegetius, Jul 20, 2005.

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  1. I was watching the telly last night, and a BBC journo went on patrol with Pakistan's new "elite anti-terrorist unit." The camera pans to a load of bushy-moustachioed, desperado-looking geezers in black 4WD vehicles festooned with shooters etc but what really got me was their unit insignia.

    They were all wearing black T-shirts with the word "Elite" written on them in English. Big silver wings erupted from each side of the word, and the same logo was sprayed onto the bonnets of their trucks and jeeps. Then I realised they'd simply nicked the logo from an old 80's computer game called "Elite" the lazy barstewards.

    Still, calling yourself elite seems to me to be not very modest. Maybe they're elite in the sense that they are all related to the interior minister, I dunno.

    So that's my not-very-elite "elite" unit. I would be interested if other ARRSErs could nominate theirs, I'm sure that the armed forces of the Balkans, Middle East and developing world (and even probably the spams) are groaning with units who think they are all-singing-all-dancing uber-commandos when in fact they are just a few blokes with guns sitting on a border checkpoint somewhere. Piccies especially welcome.

  2. The Muslim "Black Swans"..looked great in their black jump-suits and paratrooper boots but were denied weapons under Dayton. Pick the eliteness out of that!
  3. Sticking with the Balkans, 'Arkan's Tigers' who were active both in Croatia (most famously at the fall of Vukovar ) and Bosnia would have been laughably absurd if there was anything funny about genocide. They were a typical example of the type of 'elite' unit you're talking about - recruited mainly from criminal scum in Serbia proper, cutting around in black covies and balaclavas with gucci weapons and insignia, gobbing off for the TV cameras but prefering to let the JNA and Bosnian Serb army do the actual fighting so that they could concentrate their elite energies on the important business of making war on little girls and grannies. What a bunch of heroes...
  4. It's the girth of the moustache that dictates how elite such a unit is. Everyone knows that.
  5. Didnt they have a pet tiger cub at one point ? Combat &survival did a piece on them glossing over the atrocity bit but then if they knew my face i wouldnt say bad things about them .Good thing their leader got shot pity it wasent a firing squad .I nominate a stab manned vechicle
    in basra airport knackred wolf in intresting olive /green camo ok the paint was flaking off sitting in car park one fat one old other 2 typical squaddies .Approched by American Sgt who asked us if we were special forces ! she was looking for a weapon and body armour
    which had been nicked from back of humvee it wasent us .Why she thought we were special forces I'll never know .
  6. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    So Woody, were you the fat one or the old one ?
  7. RMP close protection
  8. Hey they are in our Army too!

    I remember this ‘elite’ unit that used to cut about in Southern Iraq, which had all the Gucci kit.

    Black thigh holsters

    The bit that made them really ‘elite’ is they had Iron Sights, Web Tex assault vests, and the beer guts.

    Oh how hard they looked in Div HQ behind a desk!

    Lizard REMFs with all the kit, you know who you are!
  9. I know it is meant to be non-UK formations but can we have a special mention for our old elite friends...Parachute Regiment Band! More maroon lids than a case of Brewmaster, less wings than the dodo...

    Oh and while we're at it, the Evzones are pretty warped...
  10. True, and may I say what I fine avatar, I havn't had a glass of slivovic sice last week.
  11. The Republican Guard, surely?
  12. A few years back I found myself in Beijing.
    The Chinese have their soldiers and police standing around on every street corner. Their police are a professional looking bunch, their army leave a lot to be desired.
    I visited Tianamen square and saw the most useless looking soldiers I have every seen, they were marching round the square out of step with each other, shoe laces undone, shirts untucked, some with plastic bags in their hands.

    Maybe they’ve improve since I was last there but I doubt it.
  13. Maybe they were doing areas!
  14. No, from what I’ve seen their army is just generally scruffy, the soldiers in Tiananmen square were the worst I’ve seen though
  15. The Spam "special forces" mongs who went on "Combat Missions" which was on Bravo a couple of years back - they looked well warry, but their fire discipline was wánk, reaction to effective enemy fire anaemic, aggression under fire like a fluffy bunny rabbit, they seemed to think that "fire & manoevre" meant "I fire, I manoevre", nobody gave any fire control orders, and their teamwork was almost non-existant - even the "team challenges" were one-on-one!

    The only guys who were any good were the SWAT guys, and then only when doing FIBUA/OBUA/MOUT/FISH or whatever it's called this week. But the OPFOR "Shadow Squad" were spams as well, so were also pants.

    My OTC section could have taken them any day! Heck, they didn't even do any proper section fire & manouvre or anything! It would have been funny to stick a STAB inf section in there & watch them wipe the floor!

    FYI, the selection of "thpethul forthes" included SWAT, SEAL, Marine Recon, and Delta Force, IIRC.